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Got passed over for my own job, ended up leaving after 30+ years

Going to keep this general, because I'm still technically on the payroll. Been in my current position for 10 years, with the company for over 30. FYI this was not my chosen career- sort of fell into this job, and ended up selling myself out for good pay, steady work, full benefits and a pension. Good at what I do, but my heart's never been in it at all. A few years ago, my supervsor got sick of our manager and took a lateral transfer to another department. Once budget and HR signed off on filling the position, I of course put in for it. I had the most experience in my job, top score on the promotion exam for supervisor, great work record, great references. Instead of giving it to me, they gave the position (not the duties) to an employee from not just from another department, but another…


Going to keep this general, because I'm still technically on the payroll.

Been in my current position for 10 years, with the company for over 30. FYI this was not my chosen career- sort of fell into this job, and ended up selling myself out for good pay, steady work, full benefits and a pension. Good at what I do, but my heart's never been in it at all.

A few years ago, my supervsor got sick of our manager and took a lateral transfer to another department. Once budget and HR signed off on filling the position, I of course put in for it. I had the most experience in my job, top score on the promotion exam for supervisor, great work record, great references.

Instead of giving it to me, they gave the position (not the duties) to an employee from not just from another department, but another city. And instead of making him relocate, they let him continue to work out of the other city, coming to our location once or twice a month. Luckily he wasn't assigned as my supervisor- I ended up reporting to the assistant manager. (Being deliberately vague on job titles here.)

So I get stuck with the duties of both positions with no increase in pay. I muddle along, putting in for every promotion opportunity that comes along. Despite having top score on the promotion exam, and acing every interview, I kept getting passed over. It got back to me through the ol' grapevine that toxic manager keeps blocking my promotions, as they don't want to have to fill my position.

While this has been going on, I have been dealing with some health issues. Not severe, being treated successfully with meds, but the doc says work stress is making it worse.

Fast forward to March 2020. Employer is forced to let everybody telecommute, after decades of it being a hard no. I freakin' loved it. So much less stress. No commute, no coworkers coming up to my desk to ask for help with their jobs or Google things for them (these are people with Master's degrees) or just talk at me while I'm busy. My health improves, as does my productivity.

But all good things come to an end. End of last year we were forced back into the office a few days a week. Stress right back to 105% of rated tolerance level. Then come January we're back full time. Besides the normal workplace BS that everybody deals with, workload spikes as it does regularly. This is why the position was originally a team of two. Now the combination of work stress and medical issues is affecting my mental health as well. I start getting panic attacks. Wouldn't have been a problem if working from home, but if I have to take my anxiety meds I can't drive. Start taking sick days.

Then in Feburary I find out the guy who got the supervisor position is retiring in March. But by this time, I've had it. Felt like Charlie Brown where Lucy keeps pulling the football away. So I don't even put in for the promotion. But my boss comes up to me one day and says “You ARE putting in for the supervisor position, right?” Woah. I might actually have a shot! So I apply and interview with my boss, who likes me. I'm the company's subject matter expert on what I do, a decade of experience, great record. I literally wrote the manual. I got this locked up! Ace the interview of course.

Spoiler: I don't get the promotion. Instead, they bring in somebody from outside the company. Not only zero experience in what I do, but zero experience in our industry. And I'm expected to train them.

That was the straw that broke the camel's back, and I'm ashamed to say I broke like a freakin' twig. Panic attacks turn into pretty much agoraphobia when I have to go to the office. Docs keep tweaking my meds, but it's not helping. Missing more time from work. Docs want to take me out of work on disability, but 1. too proud to do that as there is so much stigma about invisible disabilities, and 2. I sort of need an income.

Then I remember: One of my employee benefits is long-term medical leave. Not full pay, but enough to keep the bills paid as we live below our means and aren't stupid with money. And I have been earning a month's such leave every year for over 30 years. So, per my doctors' advice, I bail. Have just enough medical leave to stretch to when I can take early retirement and collect my pension.

They're screwed, as now there's nobody to train the new person. And as I've been trying to do two FTEs worth of work, the files are sort of chaotic and the training manual is out of date.

So, that's where I am. Health and Mana bars didn't refill when I left, but I'm healing. I did SO much damage to myself sticking it out in that job so long. Granddad told me when I was a kid “Life's too short to do something you don't enjoy for a living.” I should have listened.

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