i remember one of the first conversations i had with some coworkers at the job i started working a year ago was how i felt about other staff members just standing around talking while i worked. at the time, i said that was their own problem and if they wanted to do a shitty job, that was on them. at this point, i'm one of the people standing around talking and you know what? it's great. the difference between then and now? i learned how to relax.
i started last year at christmas time in the warehouse of the store where we'd get 12 skids of inventory every morning with a team of around seven people. it would take a very fast paced and stressful hour and a half to get everything in the shipment sorted and unloaded. the rest of the day in the warehouse was very simple and undemanding. even so, the resentment back there for people working out on the floor was (and still is) immense.
being a hard worker, i definitely overperformed once i was hired full time and got out there on the floor. my duties in the warehouse had been 'whatever we tell you to do'. shifting gears, i wasn't sure exactly what i was expected to do, so i carried on under the assumption it was 'everything'. the stress and frustration built and built even though i wasn't actually getting much more accomplished than everyone else.
working with the laziest members of the team, this came to a head. i was so frustrated that they just didn't care and always shirked their work whenever they could. i just don't work that way. i am focused and intense and pressure myself to go and do as much as i can. one day i came home from work so mad over the way i was being used that i vented it all to my mom and told her i was done and quitting my job. after venting, i took a couple of days off work saying i was sick and thought it over. i came to the conclusion i'd 'quiet quit'.
it was also around this time i started guided meditations at night. my cousin is a buddhist monk and has been for like 20 years now. communal meditations are common and the real deal, so i looked for some online. i found these friday night meditations (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAZ_qdMiPPA&t=558s) and very quickly, began relaxing. this relaxation has only grown and i recognize not being able to relax has been such a huge problem in my life. going to work relaxed every day makes everything so much easier.
every time i noticed myself at work getting frustrated, i'd just pull way back. physically, this means slowing down, emotionally it means forgiving people and being kind and cooperative and mentally it means taking some breaths and clearing my mind. truth be told, i am slacking off. it's minimum wage, why shouldn't i? frankly, being reliable enough to show up on time every day is 90% of the job. i still do what i'm asked and get it done, i just don't go as fast as i possibly can or care about doing it perfectly.
if i get fired or have my hours reduced, it's going to be so nice knowing it's not because i burnt out and couldn't do it anymore, it's because i got so lazy, i was no longer worth even minimum wage.