TL/DR: I need a job but am far from a model employee. How do I get this job?
No idea of this post will get traction on this sub. TBH I am not really an “anti-work” crusader. Somehow this sub ended up in my feed. For better or worse though it sort of fits my personality. I'm simply not a very hard-working person, I find it difficult motivating myself to do anything I don't immediately see the value of, and I when the going gets tough I quickly decide it's not worth the effort. And I do not see value in being some profiteers lapdog or being “successful” at something with no real value to me. Thirteen years ago my first child was born, and the high cost of childcare coupled with my general lack of ambition inspired me to quit my job and take care of the kids for a while. Now however, I think I need to get a paying job. Money is tight on only my spouse's income, and with the kids growing up I can't really justify stay-at-home-parenting like I used to. There are a number of obstacles to me finding employment. For one I have no ambition: I really just want to earn a little extra cash. For another my availability is limited: I insist on being home when the kids are, and honestly I'd rather not spend all their school hours enslaved to someone else's profit margin. I'm willing to sacrifice maybe 10 hours a week in exchange for 100-150 bucks, just to help us make ends meet. AFAIK it's not at all possible to walk into a place of business and say “hi I'd like a job” and go straight to the interview process. Even bottom of the barrel employers ask you to submit a resume for consideration. What do you put on a resume when you've been unemployed for 13 years and basically only worked a long string of short-term menial jobs before that? I can sort of envision a resume that highlights one's ambition and character, one's commitment to a hard-day's work and willingness to go the extra mile every day to get the job done. But that's not me. I'd be lying through my teeth if I claimed I was hard- working or willing to put myself at my employer's disposal. I'd even be lying if I claimed my tenure as a “self-employed household manager” was anything more than barely keeping up with the laundry while hoping against odds no one dies on my watch. Also, what I remember of employment, even when there wasn't much for you to do on a shift, you were expected to be available to work any time of day or night and exactly as much or as little as was needed by the business. There was really no opportunity for the employee to state their preferences. (I remember being asked about my availability, but I also remember my statement of availability being seemingly thrown out the window.)
So, does anyone have any suggestions for a) finding employment at just a few hours a week exclusively during the school day, or b) writing a resume based on no marketable skills, a poor work ethic, and a really crappy employment history? FWIW I tried Uber and there simply are no fares where I live (not an urban area).