It sounds a smidge melodramatic. It sounds like clickbait. And honestly? I wish it were. Alas, it isn't.
I'm sure many folks here will relate when I say I've been trying to find a job that doesn't make me wish to no longer exist, (or not necessarily even a job: just some means of maintaining financial stability in a way that is not soul killing) for at least 4 years now.
I'm at the end of my ideas, and I need some help.
- The social assistance programs where I live are not adequate to live on, and have requirements I do not meet.
- The disability programs likewise are insufficient to live on, with the added bonus of requiring oodles of red tape crossing and the emotional energy to do that, to even be considered for it.
- I don't have friends or family who are financially able to give me a donation/ I don't wish to treat the humans I know like donation centers.
- There are many various job and social agencies I've investigated, communicated with or been a client of, and all have more or less said “you sound like you've tried everything that we would suggest; so if you had no luck….we are sorry. We don't know what else to suggest.”
- I went back to school last year cor the first time in a decade, and learned lots. It was rad; but any next steps to use said schooling in an employment capacity requires more money, practice, schooling and emotional energy than I have at present.
- I absolutely cannot: do any more minimum wage, no-benefits, front-facing customer service work; do a job that is monotonous or is mostly outdoors; do work that involves navigating other humans emotional issues
There's a significant amount more to this post, but the shortest version is this:
The events in the course of my life–despite much perseverance and effort on my part to put things into an even keel– have amounted to the fact that I am no longer able to work a conventional full-time job in order to acquire financial stability. There are no social nets where I live that are adequate enough to allow me to afford to pay rent and other bills with them. I have tried making up jobs; tried turning art and writing into…something. I've tried a lot and it still hasn't gone anywhere.
I want to stay alive (which is a big deal); I want to craft a life worth continuing; but I've run out of creative solutions of how to stay that way. I soon will not be able to afford to exist, financially, and can't mental/ emotional health-wise subject myself to many of the options and sorts of jobs that exist. So I have found myself recently considering the pros and cons of existence vs non-existence.
I really shouldn't have to do that.
No one should. But I'm not sure what other avenues of income exist.
What I AM looking for:
– empathy & commiserations from folks who feel similar
– creative ideas of good ways to make consistent dollars
– humans willing to engage further and hear more of my information, in efforts of helping me try to find a way to acquire financial stability
What I'm NOT looking for:
– empty promises that are crocheted on pillows (“things always get better!” “Just change your thoughts!” And shit of that nature).
– humans with the “try harder to get a job;” or “just do the job you dislike for a little bit” attitude, who don't understand the gravity of what I'm saying and don't ask follow up questions before suggesting that people should just shut up and work
Thanks for your time everyone!