Well guess what, I’ve tried both. I started off in community college as a biology major. Studied for hours on end only to fail (bomb) my classes. This was despite seeing my professor frequently for help. I realized I would never survive this major if I continued. But that wasn’t the only class I struggled in. I also struggled in college algebra and failed my first few exams. The only reason I passed that class was because my teacher set me up in a private room with my backpack still with me (my guess was she wanted me to go ahead and cheat without explicitly saying for me to). I ended up switching majors and only faired a little better.
I took a little break from school, and then a year later I ended up in a relationship with a girl from Vietnam who was majoring in Chemical Engineering. I knew if I was going to continue being with her I was going to have to get my degree at some point. So I went back to school with renewed focus and decided to try engineering (because GF and other family members did engineering) and I wanted to do something that I felt made an impact on society.
I ended up transferring to university (before getting Associates) and majored in Aerospace engineering. I had to take pre calc and other Intro courses in order to continue in the program. I studied for more than 50 hours a week and went to tutoring everyday and sought help from Professors and TA’s frequently. I couldn’t conceptually grasp the concepts that were being taught to me, and when I could, I couldn’t keep up with the class pace. I failed out of engineering my first semester by bombing 3 of my classes.
This absolutely crushed me and I then decided to switch to cinematic studies (film), a major I was very interested in thinking it would be easier. I only did slightly better (still failed courses somewhat often), because I couldn’t keep up and the material was still hard.
I soon realized that there was no way I was going to graduate before turning 26 and that I would be ineligible for hazelwood act (free tuition for veterans and family members) once I reached that age. And if I took out loans afterwards, I was going to be in a deeper hole that I couldn’t get out of (already several thousand dollars in medical debt).
My next major decision was to move back home and go to trade school for an electrician program. I found the training to be very difficult for me and ended up struggling heavily in class and failed a couple classes. And if I’m being honest, I don’t want a physically demanding job that will break my body by the time I hit my 40s.
I’m beginning to suspect that I can’t make it through college or a trade program. But at the same time don’t want to be poor. But I don’t have the proper skills to earn a high income.
I’m 25 years old, and the thought of where my life is heading has lead me down a path of nihilism and futility.