I have severe anxiety, depression- and possible adhd im waiting for diagnosis on. And am trans in a non-trans friendly area to top it all off. Odds are already stacked in my favor, I know.
Currently waiting to be called for a scheduled phone interview where they’re over 20 mins late- my anxiety’s off the charts. Heartrate going crazy, sweating, headache from all the worrying.. if this is how I am pre-employment, how tf am I supposed to function at the job itself?!
The fact that I NEED to put myself through this to survive just debilitates me more. I have to work my life away. Wake up, work, sleep- over and over until I die. My disabilities will further the suffering greatly. I can’t grapple with the fact this is unavoidable- I have to do this if I want to live. But how can I!
The way I’m living now is no way to live, but a life employed- while financially much better off, will be an utter detriment to my mental health and well-being. Why does it have to be this way?! The way the world works does not work for people like me.
This was more of a vent than anything.
I just don’t know what I’m going to do.