(This will absolutely sound whiny, so sorry!)
Let me start off by saying that I’m 24yrs old, but in assertiveness, I’m about 5 years old. I work with my father, who is the reason for my assertiveness-deficit. Commonly men at work have tried to flirt with me or have said some rude comments and when I ask them to stop politely, they’ll go behind my back and complain to my father who will absolutely side with them and not even hear my part in it. Problem is, they don’t tell him everything, so hears from them first then reprimands me. He claims I need to learn to “speak to people better” and that the issue is usually my tone and the word choice (I’m someone who tiptoes over feelings, mind you- and uses ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ and ‘sorry’ way too often. My pops got it in his head that all kids are bad af cuz of how he was as a kid and never really got to know me or spend time with me for those reasons). In one such instance, I had a rough day with multiple male coworkers telling me to smile (which surprise, made me feel worse). One coworker who is very kind and friendly saw my face and asked that I “smile, things ain’t so bad” he said. He’s a nice guy, never meant harm but I trusted him enough to ask him to please, don’t ask me to smile, that people have been telling me to do it all day/week and I would appreciate it if he didn’t.”
Welp, I got “taddled on” by a man 25 or so years older than me to my dad about how I didn’t respect his feelings and “shutting out his shine” reminded him of trauma with his parents. My tone was sad and tired when I spoke to him, I never swore or insulted him. I never attacked him but I had to endure the guilt of knowing my boundaries triggered someone else’s. Never once was I asked for my side of the story, nothing. My father is a supervisor, and I somehow get the opposite of nepotism. So I changed my shift to avoid it.
Recently more has been happening (a note was left under my keyboard saying I’m “adorable”, a coworker offering me a ride, playing “She’s Beautiful” and songs akin the whole time while talking about his recently ex wife and their issues), I’ve reported it all but have been told I’m too “valuable” of a team member to change my shift. It all feels cruel and ironic considering I’m ALSO taking a sexual harassment course that literally tells me to report bad behavior only to be met with “We need you to be a team player.” Feels like all I can do is nod and say “yes, thank you corporate daddy”.
I’ve applied for other jobs since it seems they won’t take this seriously but now I worry for my safety as things at work escalate and I wait to hear back from any place (hopefully). I also can’t just quit, because bills exist.
To Add; as a “new/young adult”, adulthood, I’m finding- is very confusing and contradictory compared to what we were raised to believe. I notice I get made to feel like a kid daily despite focusing on my job, like one is supposed to. I can run around going crazy over numbers and my supervisor is usually chilling, lounging, laughing. It’s incredible! I mind my own and work and people seem to hate it for some reason? Almost feels like the mass majority can’t work without chit chat and gossip.
TL;DR: Work is not taking my sexual harassment claims seriously because I am “valuable”. I’ve applied for new work, but there is plenty of time for things to continue to escalate.
-How do you all combat sexual harassment? What jobs from home are easy to get hired at? I do inventory and customer service, are those viable remote work fields?