Hi, I am a motorbike rider in malaysia doing delivery gig.
Right now I don't want to deal the sun, I try it, Even I drink 3x750ml in 7ish am to 4 maybe 5ish pm, I still feel hot.
So I try 5ish p.m. to 12ish a.m. ,but I fear the rain, even the very small one, because I don't sure after this is the big one or none? And Malaysia like US need to use private transportation(mostly is car) to do anything, forget the bus, I wait few time, the bus I want never come. The train(LRT,MRT,MONO and the BUS with private road) is no fast enough. So a lot car, causing traffic jam. I am tire dealing this. Also i fear I injured or even killed.
And I feel the fee can get right now is much lower in when I enter this gig job. Before because incentive,I can get rm15 even 20 in a hour, Right now 20 in one hour is lucky, mostly is Rm10 per hour. I need more money to pay my rent and debt and I need to bulid saving, but every month I need to call my mother, my mother to my father to get support to pay rent and rent. I cut a lot spending, I need to buy a ram because my server/pc is use up all the ram. Not, I need to cut it. I need to pay Rm50 per year to perkeso to avoid punishment, No,cut it. Pay rent first. Can I buy chinken chop? No, cut it. The gig take me to far, I need go back, waste 1-2 hour wait to get “back to rent place gig” even terrible is after waste 1-2 hour, I don't get that gig, I still need to pay “back to rent place fee” Rm2.05 for gasoline plus Rm2 to maintenance to mostly 30km. Can I do sewing? I have sewing machine. No, need money/time.
And sometime I just want smash in to traffic, I know I need to stop it, but how? I try not to do this gig job, I don't get money to pay my bill, Do it? My heart is empty, plus sometime want to kill myself, the worst part is I can simply turn to smash myself.
I try other gig job, helping people to setup/fix server? few order per month, not enough to pay the bill. can i use ads? No,cut it, no money.
Do helper? Do a few time, heart is empty, get 20% commission cut, even bad fee.
Do IT support? The worstest experience I have, Rm60 for 8 hour, plus 2 hour go and back,60km,Rm4.10 gasoline, Rm4 maintenance,pay by me. empty heart. want to kill myself.
I don't know what I can to fix empty heart, no money, kill myself.