I just looked it up and apparently when I kill myself my mom and partner should be able to get all my debts discharged, even my student loans. We can't afford to get married so that shouldn't be an s
Issue. Once I get some stuff taken care of I think this might be it. I don't have a method yet but I'll figure it out. Have to clean up the house, my shit is everywhere and I don't want my partner to deal with that.
She just texted me and said she found a collections letter but it was for a small amount so she paid it, and one other bill too, so it doesn't go to collections. I'm so ashamed. It was for my cpap machine supplies. I haven't been able to afford a lot of my medications for months. I stupidly spent my last round of student loan disbursement on visiting my family because I have an uncle who might die before I get to see him again.
My dad and his wife are rich. They just got a third dog, they have new cars, a huge house full of expensive things. Visiting them was weird. I tried talking to my dad about how cruel his wife was to us growing up but he got very defensive. He kept complaining that my sister only calls before christmas or her birthday and that he feels used. I used to ask them for help but they refused over and over, because I wasn't asking right or some other thing. It's not just money with them, they ignored that I had chronic migraines as a child, I wasn't pain free for a single day between 13 and 18, when I finally got treatment. It's just how they are. My dad gets awkward when I mention applying for food stamps. My grandma gave me a check for $200 but I almost don't wanna cash it because she's the one caring for my uncle at home.
I just don't know. I'm even in nursing school but it feels so cruel that the other students come from families that support them and I'm just drowning in more debt and I have to live with roommates and bik to school just to live. And I'm not young anymore. This isn't cute. When is it going to stop?