I spent four years in college trying to decide on a field and never found my calling so I ended up with a computer information systems degree that I've never used. I don't know how to code and never could grasp it so I feel like my degree is literally just a fancy piece of paper. I ended up in banking for five years and hated it. I tried gig work for four years and hated that too. Now I've been in the optical world for a little over a month and I'm already feeling burnt out by the expectations of management.
I'm expected to talk to doctors on the phone and take prescriptions but I don't understand anything I'm doing. The training was only 5 weeks and that was just to help me grasp the system. They say everything else comes in time and it's stressful. They also micromanage us constantly. We can't read, we can't color, and if we browse the internet it leads to disciplinary action. It's an office with alot of down time so I literally just scribble in a notebook or squeeze the life out of my stress ball to pass the time. The pay and benefits are too good or I'd be long gone.
I can't help but wonder if I'll ever find anything I actually enjoy though. I'm 30 and feel like the workforce is all a game of manipulating people for raises/promotions and compartmentalizing and it's so draining for someone like me who is neurodivergent. I'm smart and have a great resume. I'm not a lazy worker by any means and despite not understanding coding in college I did graduate with a 3.5 GPA. I know I have potential. I know I should be proud of my accomplishments but man am I tired of working 5 days a week.