I’ve felt absolutely crazy my whole life because of my inability to derive pleasure from work, and I don’t understand how anyone else possibly could. When people tell me that trey love their work, I assume that they’re either lying to me, or to themselves. I can certainly understand getting a sense of pleasure and/or satisfaction from growing and learning as a person. God knows it’s what brings me my greatest pleasure. I enjoyed school. It wasn’t always super fun or what I wanted to do in that moment, but the feeling of accomplishment and personal growth it offered was generally fulfilling to me, and I guess that’s the feeling you’re supposed to get from work. It may not always be fun or amazing, but the feeling of accomplishment pushes you through it.But work, at least from what I can see, does not offer this opportunity, except in very rare cases. In fact, from what I’ve observed, dedication to work, as genuine as it may be, tends to lead to personal stagnation. People stop learning, stop being curious, slowly have the sharp edge of their mind and creativity dulled by a whetstone of monotonous years. I post this here, because I feel like a piece of shit for feeling like this. I feel lazy, like I have a bad work ethic, or that I’m elitist or something. But I still wonder, how is this okay? How is this acceptable? Even if you’re lucky enough to be fulfilled in your work, can’t you see what it’s doing to others? There’s so much to learn, to know, to experience, to create, to love, to taste, to touch, to enjoy, to cry over, to hold, to seek, to find. In the face of all that possibility, what sane person could choose a life of empty routine? The justification seems to be that it is work, in fact, that creates these opportunities for us. In my experience, and in my observation of others this is false. Again, excepting very rare cases, our jobs limit the scope of our existence profoundly. Our experiences, the things that truly matter to us, become the things we work for. If we can just make it to Friday, or just make it to vacation it’ll all be worth it. But how could it be? How can any frustratingly brief respite from constant toil do anything other than smack of anticlimax? Anyway, that’s all I have to say about that. That’s a lie. I have a lot more to say.
Edit: whetstones sharpen blades, they don’t dull them. I’m an idiot, but I’m not fixing it because I want you to see what a hapless
dope I am lol