I 27F work part time as an administrative assistant at my old high school, also while running a business in graphic design. I’m married with a 2 year old. When I took up the admin position in March, I genuinely loved the job. It got me out the house and helped bring in a bit of cash.
But now it’s the busy season. Exams have ended and my job has become 15 times harder. I won’t go into details, but let’s just say it’s a lot of backend work preparing for next year’s kids. Everyone feels the crunch but my department is notorious for being put under immense pressure from November to January.
I was warned about this, and spent as much time as I could in the year trying to prepare for it. I put systems in place to streamline tedious processes and genuinely feel that I put in more work than my predecessors. This despite the fact that I’m only part time staff, and therefore really low down on the ladder.
Well, that all went to crap. I’m experiencing the worst burnout of my life. I’m fantasising about breaking an ankle or getting a terrible disease so that I have an excuse not to go back. I have no control over my department, and a big reason why I worked my butt off was to hopefully be able to present an argument that my position should be made full time due to the nature of the requirements, but that doesn’t look like it’s going to happen.
I’m hanging in by my nails because if I walk out now, I’d be leaving a lot of good people with a crazy amount of work. But at the same time my own mental health is in the toilet, as is my home life and my business.
It’s like I need permission to walk out. I’m totally checked out at this point. It’s not that I’m scared of hard work (been doing it my whole life). It’s just that the level of work doesn’t match the reward (in any sense). And because I’m part time, a lot of the higher ups and teachers treat me like more of a servant than a colleague.
How do I get out of this?