I have a metrics driven job, as most people do, and lets just say I always hit my target.
I hit my target every day. Exactly. As though I take my time and space out my work to exactly do what is asked of me and not one task more.
My coworkers know, and my boss knows, and her boss knows. Everyone knows.
I have been pulled into 3 bullshit meetings so far this year (they like to call them “temperature checks”) and they ask a lot of probing questions about if I feel “supported” and if there is anything I need, etc. I know they just want me to tell them I hate my job, my pay, I know they're looking for any hint at all that I'm doing this on purpose.
I just blink and smile, and say I'm perfectly content in my role and my support. If I see them getting very frustrated, I'll ask a question about a random email I got from literally any Org. “Oh, did you see that IT sent us a phishing warning? Has anyone in our Org been phished? Oh you don't know? Oh. Well thanks, for scheduling this meeting. I enjoyed catching up!” Can't say I'm not participating. I'm exactly participating.
So watch my screen, listening into my mic, read my keystrokes. Do whatever you gotta do, Steph, to try and catch me. You wont. I've got a good thing going with this shitty job I barely care about. Raise the metric goals, and piss off the team, but I'll meet those exactly too.