I’ve been working a little over 40 hours for the last two weeks due to a manager being off sick. I’m doing 4-5 days in a row and on my days off all I do is housework so I never really “rest”. I work in a really fast, active retail environment and struggle to keep my eyes open driving home at night, not having 12 hours between finishing and starting shifts sometimes. Most of the time I will close and then open, getting home for 10pm and then starting the next morning at 7am.
I went to bed last night feeling weird. I got hardly and sleep and I have been sweating profusely. My throat feels like I have swallowed blades, I can’t breathe easily and I can’t taste shit either. It’s not covid, I have done two tests and both were negative. My head is pumping and I feel lightheaded and just feel…really weird, not like myself at all. I decided to ring in sick for my closing shift today and spoke to another manager who was so sweet and assured me they would be okay, that I should just focus on getting better. She was so shocked to realise it was my voice as I sound so bad, she thought it was one of the sales assistants. I assured her that if I felt I could come in, I would. But today is not one of those days. I feel like 10 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag.
All seems well and okay, but the actual store manager is why I feel anxious. She’s not exactly…sympathetic and her first reaction isn’t always the best. I remember calling in sick with a migraine once and she said to me “Could you not just come in? I am already doing a longer shift today and you might feel better later.” she’s never had a migraine, ever. I politely told her no and she just huffed,
puffed and seemed extremely agitated.
She hasn’t gotten in touch, messaged or rang me but I am sitting here typing this with do not disturb on as I feel physically sick at the thought of dealing with her. The same manager I rang today to tell I was unwell, went home sick a few weeks ago as she was physically vomiting. The store manager went up to her after asking her to take 5 and sit out the back and said “Look, I just need to know if you’re staying or leaving. Can you just let me know which it is so I can arrange cover?” in a very impatient tone. She then proceeded to send her home and while she was at home, still sick, asked this manager to message colleagues and arrange her own cover…while she was sent home sick. I think you’ve got a pretty good idea of why I feel anxious. She makes a lot of people feel uncomfortable as she isn’t sympathetic in the slightest, but if she isn’t feeling good or is in pain she expects everyone to feel sorry for her.
Ideally, I need to be back for Friday as the store manager is going away for the weekend and with another manager off…if I am not in, that leaves just one manager to open and close over the weekend unless cover is arranged from another store – which we have never done before, ever. In my 3 years here.
I don’t know. I feel guilty for not coming in but on the other hand I don’t as I feel like absolute shit. I think a lot of my feelings come from the anxiety of what the store manager will say/treat me like when she gets in touch. She has favourites and it shows, some people are un-phased and I wish I could be like that – but I am not and I really feel uncomfortable when I know someone is disappointed/upset with me even through no fault of my own.
I feel she is more concerned with how sickness is going to affect her day, how difficult it will make it for her, rather than how the individual who is sick feels. I don’t think that’s right.