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Antiwork

I feel I reached my high point.

For context I'm 23M a few years ago when I was 19 I got my first job at a hotel as a server for there restaurant. I did that for a few months when the head engineer offered me a job at higher pay and he'd train me. I took it and he fought with the GM to allow me to get the position. He trained me and was a very kind boss. After a couple years I had gone from the 9$hr to 10$hr because (I was being trained according to the owners) and my boss who was making 20$hr told me he found a better offer for himself and that he was leaving. They never found another head engineer so the role fell to me. I eventually got boosted to 13$hr and was taking care of taking inventory, making lists of what tools I needed and interviewing for…


For context

I'm 23M a few years ago when I was 19 I got my first job at a hotel as a server for there restaurant. I did that for a few months when the head engineer offered me a job at higher pay and he'd train me. I took it and he fought with the GM to allow me to get the position. He trained me and was a very kind boss. After a couple years I had gone from the 9$hr to 10$hr because (I was being trained according to the owners) and my boss who was making 20$hr told me he found a better offer for himself and that he was leaving.

They never found another head engineer so the role fell to me. I eventually got boosted to 13$hr and was taking care of taking inventory, making lists of what tools I needed and interviewing for positions under me. Meanwhile the owners would do interviews for people to try and replace me. More qualified people.

I loved that building. I loved that job. Then COVID happened and they started cutting people. They had to keep me cause I was the only maintenance guy there, then one day a new guy shows up. I get called down they asked me to sign a paper and I did (thought it was a delivery or something similar nothing strange) and I was told I was being fired under the suspicion that I had been sleeping in rooms. Said they saw me go into a room on camera for a couple hours (I was fixing a broken shower) and that I was to leave immediately. I was so at a loss that I couldn't think of anything to say and just left.

I've had 2 other jobs since then. A dish washer and a cashier. Every hotel I applied to always takes someone with more experience. Because “how can you be so young and know this?” None of these jobs have felt right. I feel empty and lost. I feel I reached my prime already. It wasn't the best job but as I said I loved that building. I have dreams that I still work there. Whenever I get near it I feel an overwhelming sense of anxiety. I just wish I could go back. I hate being a cashier…

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