I’m not happy in my work.
I’m an ESL teacher, traveling the world, seeing and doing things people may never see before.
And I’m absolutely miserable.
I hate this. I wanted to be a writer or an artist. And during Covid I was doing just that! I was an artist full time, I wasn’t making a ton but I was making a good amount. I was gaining traction, doing everything an artist should do or whatever.
But then my family intervened. Grandmother said, and I quote, “you should die instead of wasting space like this.” Grandfather became increasingly verbally abusive. My mother isn’t in my life, she is borderline brain dead due to alcoholism and drug abuse (which, seeing how my family is, I can see why she succumbed to such a thing)
I’m honestly just truly miserable now. I moved away to teach ESL and now I’m not with any of my friends from back home, I have a job that is physically and mentally draining, and my family just tells me to suck it up if I even remotely complain. I just can’t do it anymore. I feel like I’m just going to kill myself if this keeps up.
I don’t know if anyone can offer advice. When I was in the states I was trying to find a job there but it was nearly impossible. Too inexperienced this or whatever. I have my MA in TESOL, I actually wanted to do this before Covid. During Covid I found my actual passion, and I can’t follow it and my career doesn’t allow me the free time to try and pursue it as a side hustle or whatever. I feel sick and I honestly don’t know what to do anymore.