Hi friends. This is my first post here.
It's more so a vent and to let people know this stuff still happens. I'm a woman, live in the Netherlands and started working for this /huge/ graphic design firm (one of the biggest in the netherlands). It was my first job too after college. They KNEW I was autistic when they hired me (its on my CV!!!). I had an easy time connecting with people there and was able to fuck around on the computer in my free time so the stress was low at times. The only thing that went wrong sometimes was when my coworker or a higher up tried to tell me what I should do (like creating graphics)..but you know with autism, people have to be very literal to me so I can understand what I need to do. Like, very very literal. I have pointed out to them before that they should be literal with me, it makes following orders easier for me and it makes things easier for them. I can't crawl into their head and know exactly what they want to see. Besides that, this company also had mostly only seniors working there. I was the youngest and NEWEST. People who worked there have worked at that company for 30 years. So yeah, everyone kind of understands each others and the type of work they want coming out of this graphic design firm. With the pandemic too, only 6 people being in the office, I barely got any training to fit their standards too.
You can't just say to me “I want this photo-shopped and made prettier”. I don't know what you want me to do. You have to say “I want these colors changed for printing and this woman in the background to be gone”. That's where things went wrong. In my year of working there, somewhere in the middle of the year this became more and more of a problem and my coworkers didn't understand why I couldn't understand the simplest tasks (I would hand in work that they didn't want or saw in their vision because they weren't super clear with me). It resulted with me working on a project for 2 weeks, handing it in and being told that I didn't do it right, didn't follow the orders and made something entirely different. I ended up having an extreme breakdown and went to cry in one of the offices (this was also DURING the peak of the pandemic, so everyone was working at home except for like 6 people in rotation and me). What followed was an extreme burnout and anxiety for the next few weeks. I told my boss (not the ceo, but the boss of the graphic design team) about it and explained..again…that I can't follow orders easily unless people are super literal with me. And that in the 2 weeks, even when I kept asking questions, they literally gave me an attitude of “Am I not saying or explaining it enough” This is maybe the 6th time I said this to them in 6 months…and it literally just left me feeling like a burden.
This happened a few weeks after my contract was extended for some more months.
After this all happened, they slowly took me away from any creative work and made me do Desktop Publishing jobs because “There are no clients” Wtf? No clients for a multi-million graphic design firm..suddenly?.. Okay. I started doing Desktop Publishing jobs. Just putting words on a poster or moving a letter more to the left. Putting a picture in a square. Easiest 6 months in my life. I talked to some coworkers because i was deadly afraid that breakdown and burnout resulted in me not getting my contract extended to another year. They said “I'm sure they're going to extend your contract, you make beautiful things and are fun to work with” and “Don't worry about it” I had some of the nicest co-workers ever, but the people in the graphic design team and higher ups were so icky to me at some point like they lost patience..so I felt very vulnerable around them and just stopped interacting with them outside of projects or typical work. The other coworkers in the DTP team were just nice and so were the Order Managers
This is a company that hires people and barely ever shoves them away..The chance of being hired is small but the chance of staying is huge. They always extend contracts for life in this company and that's why you have so many seniors there who worked there for ages..for some of them it was even their first job and they just stuck with it (50 year olds who have worked there since they were 20). Everyone I talked to expected me to stay for another year because they never really kicked people out.
Well lo and behold..6 months passed. I get the “talk” about my contract being extended or not with 2 of my managers and the CEO. They flat out say “We love having you around, you're a young soul and you made us realize we need to get with the times. The work you put out is beautiful and we gained some lasting clients. But we sadly just don't think you're a good fit for this company and we'd like to reform how we do things here.” (Seriously word for word) I just sat there and said “Okay” and took my L. I knew exactly it was because of my autistic behavior..it was fucking horrible.
My last few months were fine. They held a BBQ in the garden during my last day (not for me, it just ended up on the same day as my last day) everyone was there..people were really shocked I was let go. The worst thing is that the CEO of the company, the guy who was there during my talk about the end of contract..just didn't talk to me. He didn't talk to me. Didn't say bye, didn't look at me even. It sucked. It was so humiliating. My other coworkers noticed but were too scared to tell him to say bye to me or something. I don't know. Worst experience in my life lol
My coworkers gave me a card signed by /almost/ everyone and a 150 euro Ikea card at the end of the day (they collected money for it together, it wasn't by the company) with flowers. I had some coworkers who weren't in the office literally call me on my phone to say bye. I think they felt bad and knew exactly why I was fired. The rumor of me being autistic spread (for some reason some coworkers weren't even told I was autistic lol or forgot about it or something despite me telling them a hundred times to adapt the way they give me orders). Coworker drove me home. Last hug. Said bye. Entered my home and just started bawling and crying in my bed. Feeling like I had an opportunity and because I couldn't adapt to them I lost the best job I ever could've had in my life.
This job was everything. It paid half of my healthcare, my travel costs, work at home opportunities, gave me a travel laptop and many other benefits. So yeah. I feel bad. I haven't pursued a graphic design job after this and don't think I can.
If you are someone who hires people and you hire someone who says they're autistic..please know that the bare minimum is just adapting your behavior just slightly so the person on the spectrum knows what to do..i feel like fucking shit for losing this job and I lost it last September..And the feeling of failure is still there. I don't think I can ever recover from this.