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Antiwork

I got fired yesterday

After working from home for months, I was told about a month ago that the CEO wanted to start enforcing the company policy of working in the office three days a week. I was beyond pissed. I fought it, my manager said he would fight it (he didn’t, he’s a pushover), but no exceptions were going to be made. Fine. While at the office, I put in my earbuds, didn’t engage with the office people outside of anything directly related to work, and stopped all work at 5 o’clock on the dot. A week later, I was texted by a coworker, who also happens to be the wife of a C-level, at 5:02 to do something that she 100% had the capacity to do herself. I said fuck it, ignored the text, and the ones I got from my direct report manager shortly after. Next morning, I’m told to bring…


After working from home for months, I was told about a month ago that the CEO wanted to start enforcing the company policy of working in the office three days a week. I was beyond pissed. I fought it, my manager said he would fight it (he didn’t, he’s a pushover), but no exceptions were going to be made.

Fine. While at the office, I put in my earbuds, didn’t engage with the office people outside of anything directly related to work, and stopped all work at 5 o’clock on the dot.

A week later, I was texted by a coworker, who also happens to be the wife of a C-level, at 5:02 to do something that she 100% had the capacity to do herself. I said fuck it, ignored the text, and the ones I got from my direct report manager shortly after.

Next morning, I’m told to bring in all company materials. Aight, ya boy is getting fired.

Sat in the office for three hours, staring at a wall, waiting for the veryimportantsupervital meetings to be done. Finally sit down with C-level husband and boss. C-level says they’re terminating my employment. Manager, displaying the testicular fortitude of a eunuch, wouldn’t even look at me and didn’t say a word.

“We’ll give you an extra paycheck to get you through the next month.” Says the C-level. I say little, nod, thank the C-level, ignore the 300 pounds of simpering manager blobbing in the next chair, and leave without another word.

NOW:

Unbeknownst to them, I already had another job lined up starting the following week. I was planning on quitting at the end of the current week. So my “behavior” got me two weeks free pay and the first few “unemployed” days I’ve had in five years.

I pet three dogs that same day, drank a six pack, and roasted a duck for dinner.

First time being fired feels pretty damn good.

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