A test result came back with a chemical I'd never heard of being elevated…I'm not a doctor so I did the next logical thing: googled chemical and was immediately convinced I was going into organ failure.
As I frantically thought about all the things I wanted to do, and places I wanted to go and worried that I'd never be able to travel again I was hit with this realization….I've been working 40 hours/week for about 10 years now with the longest stint off being 4 days off at most here or there.
The biggest reprieve I had was a 6 month stint where my hours dropped to 30/week…I never felt so alive as during those 6 months. I actually left work ready to do things. I was creative and productive but I had no money.
How is it that we devote so much time to work to pay for things?
My doctor messaged me this morning, I'm fine, she just suggests more exercise/eating healthy. But I can't shake this feeling that I'm draining out while I clack the keyboard to make my company money. Why the hell did 30 hours a week feel like nothing when 40 feels like it's destroying my soul.
And I feel so bad because I know I'm fortunate to only be working 40 hours a week, I couldn't imagine the strain for working multiple jobs and more hours just to survive in this crazy system.