I am close to getting my degree in engineering. My resume is actually fairly impressive. Currently I am trapped in a hell of school, minimum wage work, and applying for jobs left and right. Nothing is entry level, the little life I thought I didn’t even have to spend is getting sucked out of me, and I am realizing how important nepotism is. I don’t have much nepotism going my way. My ancestors came to America and broke cycles so I could end up in this situation.
I’ll be the first college graduate, in engineering no less, since my grandma got a useless degree from a Catholic college which didn’t even make her read the Great fucking Gatsby. I was reading that shit at eight. (Useless by today’s standards, but oh boy, she was balancing budgets for state departments in her god damn heyday. Couldn’t even be bothered to move into programming because it was ‘too hard.’) Out of eight kids they sent that pathetic social security guzzler to college because she was ‘the smartest.’ Then she complains about debt cancellation. I can’t with the hypocrisy.
I’m sick of being tired. Sick of working with snotty high schoolers who are going to end up the same way I did. I remember when I used to care about my lame ass HS job like they did. If I am not walking miles to work, considering I can’t afford a new car in this fucking economy, then I am continuing to study for a degree I now am realizing is useless. All the months and years of being degraded and sexually harassed by entitled, nepotistic engineering students while not sleeping or eating was not worth it.
There is no easy path in this country. I’m going to be working like a pack mule until the day I die. I know, I shouldn’t be realizing that just now. I should have been prepared to establish myself over and over and over again. I was always imagining some golden ticket to a better life if I just got through my degree. Dreams. Sigh.
Any tips on how I can just abandon my life on the hamster wheel and live alone in the middle of nowhere? That girl from Island of the Blue Dolphins should have stayed fucking put. Or just send luck as I grind the axe again.