I work in an office with three other women. My boss, she’s hardly ever there. But I like her alright. She is pretty laid back and straight forward. “Here’s the job I have for you, just make sure you do your best, and the rest is whatever“ kind of attitude. In other words, polar opposite of micromanager. Which I love her for it.
One of my co workers is about my age. She is very sweet, loves to talk, but minds her own business. Her questions for me are born from genuine curiosity. She is not interested in prying for information out of me that she knows is none of her business. It’s just “did you do anything fun this weekend?” Kind of stuff. But nothing personal. And she never makes negative remarks at me or judges me. She doesn’t feel the need to boss me around. Her and I coexist harmoniously.
But the one I am slowly starting to have an issue with? She is the eldest of us other girls. (She‘s 50’s and we’re in our 30’s.) At first she was very cordial with me. But now that I suppose she is more comfortable with me she has started acting like she is my boss. Telling me how I should use my personal social media for work. She even tells me to bug strangers in public, friends, and family. “Get them to let you quote them!” (My actual boss has never asked me to do any of this because she did not hire me for sales. I am a CSR in insurance, btw.)
She asks me so many questions about things that are none of her business. And makes constant, unsolicited, negative remarks. (Part of it is kind of my fault. I was a bit too trusting in the very beginning and vented a frustration I had with my MIL. But that was over a month ago and my mouth has been shut since.) But she will STILL try to bring it up.
I took my MIL out to lunch last week. When I got back my co-worker asked “Didn’t you say she is really religious?“ Well…yeah…but what does that have to do with me taking her out to lunch? (I could kick myself for ever saying anything.) I try to keep my answers as vague as possible but she’ll keep pushing. Either not getting the hint I don’t want to have that conversation, or getting the hint but pushing anyway.
She also makes negative remarks at me all the time. I was listening to my instrumental music one day, to help me relax, and she felt it necessary to say “I can’t stand that stuff! It literally makes me want to punch a wall.” Okay? It’s a piano solo…and I didn’t ask you. I’ll be in a conversation with my other co-worker about a food we like and she’ll randomly yell out from her office “Oh, I don’t like that! It’s gross!” She griped the other day about now “noisy” my keyboard is. Even though her and I have an entire stairwell separating our offices, my keyboard apparently is ”too loud.” I like to keep my office space clean. I vacuum it often. She feels the need to make comments about that too. “Why do you vacuum so much? I’m going to hide that thing from you.” Seriously?
She called me “rude” in a very nasty tone one time because I didn’t offer to order DoorDash for the whole office when I ordered it. Even though I expressed I could not afford to feed everyone. It wasn’t an excuse because they “would have paid me back.“ She looked over at my other co-worker (the nice one) and said “I guess we’ll have to fend for ourselves” then just glared at me.
She “can’t stand” my keyboard, she “can’t stand” my music, she “can’t stand” my taste in food. She has to make a snide remark whenever I clean my office. I am “rude” for not ordering food for everyone. She will use my ONE complaint about my MIL I made a month and a half ago, against me every time she gets a chance. Why does she need to make sure I know she hates everything I love? Why does she pay so much attention to what I am doing? While I literally couldn’t care less about what she’s doing, what she’s into, etc.? I will probably never live down my one complaint I made about my MIL, I regret deeply even doing. But I make it a point to just mind my own business, keep to myself, and she makes it VERY difficult. Am I missing something here? She is acting this way entirely unprovoked.
I’m concerned because this is only after two months. What’s going to happen in 6? A year? This can only get worse? Or maybe not. I have a history of being pushed out of a work place by bullies, narcs, etc. I finally found a job I am happy. But I’m scared she’s going to decide she doesn‘t like me and try to push me out. (This has happened before. Someone I worked with decided they didn’t like me for some unknown reason. And they somehow convinced our boss to fire me.) So, yeah…I’m on full alert…again. And I hate it. There always has to be that one person.