I feel sick to my stomach. I wake up and hit the walls. When I think about going to work, I feel like throwing up. I developed panic disorder. I am unable to work because of the frustration I feel.
Little background, I have a master’s degree from a very reputable university in Europe in life sciences. I have good academic record and experience in my field. I don´t expect much from a job, moderate-pay and respect to human rights are enough.
During my master’s I got incredibly depressed and as I graduated I went back to my home country, which at best, a developing country with very little job opportunities in my field. If I stayed in Europe things could have been different but at that time I had no strength to do so. I still don’t regret my decision.
I got ‘lucky’ and found a quite unique position related to my field in my home town. My boss belittles scientists (my profession) time to time (he is a medical doctor and his ego is something I have never seen). My salary is low, just like the 90% of the workers in this country. I have an extremely low rent, like I pay 10 times less than the average person. If I were to move from this house, I would not be able to feed myself with this salary. Even with this rent, I could only save so little money that it´s almost worthless and I don´t even go out or go crazy with my spending.
He demands so many things in so little time, I explained him many times that that is not realistic. I have 2 co-workers with me, who are miserable as well. Our boss is incredibly manipulative. He constantly tells us that we have no value outside of this job, we won´t find a more prestigious job, we are only valuable because we are working with him. I asked for 2 days off after a very mentally demanding project that I completed in a really short notice. I did this for our international customers and they freaking loved it and asked us for a collaboration. Then we had little workload and I told him I need 2 days off to perform better, because I was feeling mentally tired and my job is mentally demanding (scientific and clinical research). I told him that I don´t even want to be paid for my time-off. He told me, well okay, but the next 8 months we will work non-stop. Like I do something else? Today I learnt he talked behind me to my co-worker saying that I am ´too relaxed´ that I can ask for a time-off before completing my 1st year in the company (next month is my first year, its my legal right to have vacation after 6 months in). Moreover, he actually assigned 3 tasks to me during my off time which I completed immediately. So he thought working from home is the same thing as a vacation I guess. He writes during night, early in the morning, saturdays, sundays, national holidays, public holidays, expects us to work all the time. I turned my phone off last weekend. I was so freaking fed-up I was ready to face any consequences.
He told us that he could have done 80% of the work that us 3 are currently doing and he would make more money (then do it, literally his only motivation is money, and he repeatedly told people he hired us because he actually couldn´t handle this work). He told us that he is smarter than 3 of us combined? It was just funny to me honestly, just a funny anectode. He forces us to work when we are sick and shames us for being sick. Shames us for asking for every little thing. He shames us for not working during the weekend and questions what we did in our free time all the time. He shames us for going out (which I don´t do anymore lol, going out is so expensive it makes me more stressed).
I told him that we should be compensated for the extra work that we do. We are literally doing stuff for free for the sake of “recognition”. These free stuff are demanding for us, takes a lot of time because we want to do it well and we carefully tailor all the details, as it is related to cancer patients´ health, jesus christ.
I want to be paid for the work that I do. He literally threatened me after I said this to him. He ironically said I can book an appoinment and re-negotiate my work condiditons. He previously told me I do not have any agency on my work conditions. He has this disgusting quirky smile while threatening me.
At this point even if he pays me astronomical numbers, I will not stay. He does not respect basic human rights. He does not respect science and scientists, he does not respect me and my co-workers. He literally thinks we are slaves?
I can´t get sick, I have to work even if I am dying, I have no right to ask for anything, I do not have to be paid for the extra work I do, I was never paid for the extra time that I did, which is a lot. He would do Zoom meetings until 1 am when I first started for bullshit reasons.
There are many other things but I already wrote a novel here, sorry for the long post. I know I can´t get a job right away, I have been applying for jobs for 3 months and I had zero returns. It´s a shit country with shitty companies that hires people based on kinship and not on merit. I will keep applying. I accepted the fact that I may have to abandon my field to get a new job. I think I will resign next month and become unemployed. I need a break anyway. I never had any break in my life. If I can´t find a job, well, then, I really don´t know. I can´t do plans anymore.
TLDR; I have a manipulative, incedibly shitty boss that does not respect basic human rights and pays little. All I want is a moderate paying job and some respect.