So last week I got a call from an acquaintance who said he's desperately in need for someone to run his business, which happens to be the most popular pub/bar in town. I didn't even know this guy was the shareholder but ok whatever, the place has a huge brand name that everybody knows and would be great to have on my cv if it's actually something worthwhile.
To cut the story short into interesting bits, I show up there and sit down with the shareholders. The local retirement home has a lower average age than that table. They start by saying how for the first time in their lives they understood what LinkedIn was for when I sent them that instead of my 3 page CV.
I asked them what challenges they were facing and they said retaining staff. Ok hardly surprising so I asked why that is. They said they don't know cuz the staff are all happy, but they complain that they get paid daily wages instead of salaried (here there is no such thing as hourly or daily, everyone is salaried). I asked if they collect service charge, another common feature, and they said no why would we do that it scares customers away. No it doesn't.
Then they told me about their great tipping policy, everything goes into a pot and is then divided amongst the front of house staff. So I asked what do the back of house people think of this and the response was “they don't mind, they know they're not entitled to tips from customers.” M'kay….
I asked them what their latest innovation was in terms of customer experience and they told me they bought a parking lot. 15 years ago. Yeah that just entices everybody to come here doesn't it.
Oh did I mention the staff only get 1 day off per week? Cuz they decided to close every Tuesday in order to give everybody off that day so as not to have to hire people to cover those who are off.
So at the end they asked me to state my terms, I threw out some ludicrous number cuz I thought there's no way they're gonna go for it and I'd need some serious money to sell my soul there. Nope, nobody even batted an eye. They said we can do that. Oh and I'd get 2 days off per week cuz fuck those peasants who would actually be doing the heavy lifting. There is no job description, but just an expectation to “keep everyone motivated to work hard and cut any expenses you can figure out”.
At one point they started talking about how I could implement walkie-talkies cuz that's so modern and would make the place look more hip.
The cherry on top was that the person I would report to was someone whom I had met years ago at another job where he had an absolute meltdown at me for not getting what he wanted. At one point during the meeting I realized/remembered who he was and called him out on it in front of everybody.
I was flabbergasted. The whole thing was so surreal. While we were interviewing the accountant came and gave everybody bags of what were very obviously stacks of cash. The monthly dividends. Like they really think this is ok for them to grind everybody down working there while they just hold a shareholders meeting once a week? And then are willing to give me a shitload of money to keep this going for them and whatever benefits i ask for?
No advice needed, just wanted to share my day with yall and how deluded some people are. And I'm very sure they're gonna call me back soon. It's tempting, I've been out of a job for the last 2 years, and the money would be more than I've ever made before in my life by a long shot. But holy shit I'd have to whore my integrity and soul out for that sweet relief.