I want to contribute and help others and be part of society. I really do. My husband and I are foster parents, we’ve had up to 9 kids at once, right now we have 5. Our oldest is on the list to get a heart/kidney transplant any day now, and when that happens my husband will have to go with them to the hospital two hours away and stay there for several months. I’ll be home with the other kids, ages 15, 12, 2, and 10 months. The two littles don’t sleep well, so neither do I.
My daily home life is completely exhausting, but very happy and rewarding. I could hold down the fort on my own for a couple months, even if it will be very hard. But in a month I have to go back to work, and that just seems like too much. I’m scared, and honestly I’m angry. The best use of my time is at home, with my kids, and it feels unfair that I have to go to work on top of everything else just because.
I know single parents do it every day, but they shouldn’t have to either. I’m just tired and frustrated and dreading the future right now. I’m not trying to live a life of leisure on other peoples dime, I just feel like I’m doing enough already and the prospect of more is pushing me over the edge.