5 hours. Not even that because they let me go 15 minutes early. And I'm in so much pain mentally and physically that the minute i got home i burst into tears. I just don't know where to go from here.
Yesterday, I was hired on the spot at an ice cream place in my college town. For reference, I'm 22(F), with a bachelor's degree in Psychology, and I also happen to be autistic. I took the job because I'm desperate, and the only other interview I've gotten in the last month and a half took me hostage for an hour (another story entirely). I'm not entirely new to food service or even ice cream, but I feel so beat down that I'm still struggling not to cry an hour after getting home. I got there and it was fine enough initially. But within an hour after showing me where things were, I was sent to scrub cabinets, on my hands and knees. I'm fine with cleaning, I don't mind it, but my pants got wet and I was already in pain by then. Once I'm free from that, they actually have me doing normal ice cream shop things. Except, I'm struggling, hard, stuttering over talking to customers, fighting to scoop, making a damn mess of everything I attempt. And I get it, first shift is rough, that's not unusual, whatever. But by the time I'm like 3 hours in, I'm fighting tears. My feet ache, my back is a mess, and I'm counting down the seconds. Honestly, I think the manager noticed I was about to break down and that's why they let me take off. I got home and the second my door closed I was sobbing so loudly I scared my cat off. And now I don't know what to do. I was shaking so badly when I left, from trying not to cry and being so overstimulated. And I feel weak and pathetic for it. My back is so fucked up that I'm having a struggle walking around the apartment without hunching over. I hate this so much.
Remember how I have a degree? Want to know what I am getting paid for this job?
$7.25 an hour.
Based on my clock-out slip and my (albeit poor) math skills, I made 35 bucks. 35 bucks in almost 5 hours, and with shittier mental health to show for it. Maybe I'm just weak, I wouldn't be surprised. But the fact that this is what a month and a half of relentlessly job hunting has gotten me? Something just isn't fucking right about that