It's almost a year since I graduated from my bachelor's. Career wise, I'm fortunately at a place I couldn't have even dreamt of – because I met the right people at the right time.
I work hard all week on a dream project! It's perfect. I'm bound to grow from here.
But for my role, the income is really freaking low. Even for someone with 3-6 years of experience, it's not great… so it's definitely worse for me. From my calculations, even if I were to eat cheap, I can only afford 3 meals a day. No rent, no electricity, no petrol, no emergency expenses, nada.
This is the case for all people in my industry who do not join through family/close friends here. Thus, I cannot simply switch projects (nor do I have the contacts for it).
Fortunately, I've been given a place to stay for free (at my cousin's place), and she has been very understanding of my struggle. Still, I want to contribute what I can. My current situation is keeping me low at all times.
Since highschool, I've had lingering depression, anxiety, amd OCD…. and to be not able to afford/continue treatment for it is fucking me up big time now. Not only do the general expenses scare me, but also I'm nervous about the bigger toll it will take on my mental health. I'm breaking down into tears and throwing a raging fit everyday. I'm being more and more of a routine freak. I'm losing it.
Up until now, I've been staying with my family. But growing out of my mental space in the very environment that harboured its conditions is becoming impossible. Ever since my decision to move out, we have grown distant. Other than my cousin's gracious help, I feel alone. My friends make more than me, take trips, and have their shit together about their milestones. I'm not jealous, just sad. I'm losing it here.
I'm planning to learn a skill that will help diversify my resume. I bought the necessary self-pace course for it, but I struggle to start it given my mental health now.
Any sort of advice for anything would be helpful rn. Thank you. Plus, if you are struggling too, please share it if you are comfortable…I believe it will give us a sense of togetherness here.