So I know this sub is not probably the best place to ask advice on the matter, but as the title says I'm desperate and maybe some 'antiwork' perspective can help me somehow. Or maybe not, but I don't lose anything for trying it.
I'm 25 and I don't know what to do with my life. I have no motivations, no aspirations. I literally don't see where I will be in 5, 10, 20 years because I have no life projects. There is NOTHING that motivates me to do something with my life. And to be honest, I wouldn't have too much problem with this if not for something: I have no independence.
I feel that I never grew past childhood, I don't know what is the feeling of worrying about money because it's been always there, through my mother, so I always had food in the table, a bed, a phone, Internet (> music, movies, social media, etc). I feel like this has greatly contribute to my own stallation. My mother doesn't have problem with me living here, specially after my father passing, but I feel like shit because if she was to die tomorrow I would be either thrown to the street with nothing to survive, or maybe worse, to depend of my sister, which would only make me feel even worse.
I don't have skills, I don't have motivation to change. Even if I want to change, after going through writing this, tomorrow I will probably wake up late and watch the phone. Or I will sit on the PC. Or maybe even the Tv. And if not, I'll just go outside and walk and nothing else. That is my day everyday, and is not as simple as “you know your problem, just change it?” because I will not always feel like shit. This is a feeling that I only have when I think about this situation, but maybe tomorrow I will shut down this idea and avoid thinking about it. But I don't want to do that, I want to change, I want to be able to live on my own. I want to be able to survive alone.
You probably have a disgusted feel about me reading how pathetic some aspects of my life sound, well I don't feel better, the only reason I'm not crying is because I don't want to be seen crying, I also never had that kind of touch with my family and I still hold no interest of having it. I want to suceed on my own, and for that I don't need to make +50k a year, I just want to get some experience, open some doors, make enough money to save just a little and live on my own.
What is my problem? What can I do? How do I exit this situation? How can I overcome myself? It is too late for me?
This last question, is the most recurrent one lately in my mind.
Please. Help.