I was a manager in a company for 12 years.
In thr last 2 years my company did a merger and a lot of rules and structures changed.
I started to question the sense of many things but no one really cared.
A lot of co-workers left. My department saw a lot of fluctuation too.
All I was doing was struggling with overdue tasks, got blamed for people that left my department and doing things which are totally useless, just to satisfy the upper management.
I ended up working a lot from home, sometimes i was not able to sleep, then woke up around 10 (scheduled my meetings like this).
I even started to open a beer during lunch.
And every second I felt guilty, useless and afraid and panickef at the same time.
I was complaining to friends a family how terrible I feel, i skipped events just stay at home and lie in bed.
This morning I was brave enough to terminate my job.
I don’t know what or when I will continue, but I know that this old situation would drive me in an even deeper depression and I needed to pull the handbrake.
I feel relieved already now. I have only 2 weeks left to work and I can feel the joy of life wants to come back.
I’m looking forward to that time now.
I have some saving that I planned for something “more important” like investments, a house or other things.
But now I believe that this money is best invested in myself, when I consumr it during my timeout.
This time will be an adventure and I never thought I would be able to take that risky step.
But I feel good and I can already feel that this step was long overdue.