I graduated university with a computer science degree and high GPA and immediately get a job in a big corporation. As young adults who just graduated I feel so motivated to work, but reality hits differently. I live in a country where software engineering job pays around 300$ per month or around 3,600$ yearly.
Here is my story so far:
- In my first day of work, no one really welcomed me there and the supervisor who in charge of me didn't show up.
- The building management and parking area cost around 3$ per day(they didn't give parking access card for new member). So basically I need to pay around 60$ per month for Office Parking, and they refused to give me card after I spoke directly to the building management staff.
- Second day at work I started doing this “HR Quizes” that is mandatory.
- Third day I keep asking for work(because they seems like don't want to give me work), then I get a simple task to refactor old code to a newer version, I finished the task and asked more.
- First week was hard, but I managed to pull it off. At this time I started questioning life, and get depressed.
- Second week, still no “important” task is given to me, so I was told to study programming language / frame-work. And I did, while i keep asking for more task.
- In the Third week, the higher up(my supervisor's supervisor) started asking me for detailed work schedule, like what I'm doing each day, what to do. Basically my supervisor's supervisor thought I was slacking off.
- In the Fourth week, I started nagging my supervisor for more work(scared of being seen as slacker), and my colleague started hating me for it(it seems like only one of us can get a promotion).
- In the sixth week, My depression got worse, I *REALLY* question LIFE* (suicidal thought) and the meaning of work.
I quit in the seventh week. I am in my last wits, I feels like I don't know why I'm working, the money isn't that good, they says they're family but I feel isolated more than ever, and I feel like trapped in this “prison”. I was thinking, maybe if I worked until I'm 50, saved each dollar that I have I can retire.
The day I quit, I feel FREE as eagle, like I don't need to slaving away my time for the rest of my life.
I moved back to my parents house(luckily they're supportive).
I'm scared, you know, money and such, and decided to search for my calling in life, one can call it life's purpose.
Since a child I want to be a creative person, so right now I'm learning about story telling.
Yes, I'm graduated with a degree with “VERY” high GPA. But I never made any “portofolio” (stupid part of me).
———————-
This path, that we take (anti work).
Is a very lonely road, I can't ask my friends in university about life without working, and they honestly can't care less.
Very scary road, because I don't know what future held for me.
Mentally taxing, you know, I might be anti work, but I don't want to be burden to my family.
Money, I can't understand how some people have a lot of it, and how to acquire a lot of money(legally) and still have time to enjoy life.
Now, a month later, I still have trauma to apply for another job, and maybe office work isn't for me.
I feel like shit/loser compared to my friends who is “succeed” in their career.
I feel like a burden to my family.
I have couple dollars in me, that's it.
Man.
I'm scared.
Hopefully you don't relate to this story, but I pray for better future and prosperity without slaving away our time in corporate 9-6 job.
TL;DR: OP is a broken man who rushed into corporate world after graduated and now dealing with post-work trauma and depression. OP is now lonely and feel like a family burden. OP is now searching for the meaning of life and his/her life purposes.