I live in a first world country. My mom was a dirt poor single parent who scraped together every penny to feed us. I had no-one to help me financially start out in life. All my life, I was told you have to work hard, get into college and fight to make it, but you'll be successful one day if you do. My younger sister has autism, and my mom became too ill to financially care for her. So at a young age, I took her on as my dependent. I swore to myself I wouldn't let her rot away in the system.
I started working at 15, after high-school let out. I'd work every day and sometimes the weekends. I managed to get into college on student loans. It wasn't enough to live on though, so I had to work nights and weekends after class. I often had so little, I had to steal food from what people left on their plates as a waitress. I had breakdown/burnout in my third year if college and almost didn't graduate. I pushed forward, thinking it would all be worth it when I had a degree and didn't have to work minimum wage jobs.
Skip to a few years post-college, can't get hired anywhere for more than minimum wage despite having a degree. I have 2-3 jobs, I work weekends. I have no life. I just keep hustling, thinking one day, it will pay off. The govt gives my sister a measly stipend, but it's nowhere close to enough for her to live. I am the poster child of money management. I budget well, live simple and eat cheap. I develop iron deficiency because I can't afford enough meat. My debt grows.
Skip to now. I'm 33 and on the verge of bankruptcy. I work 60 hours a week. I have been to the hospital twice for mental breakdowns due to over-working. I have applied three times for a mortgage so I can stop flushing 12 grand down the toilet and year for housing. Each time I was told there's no way at your income level. I can't afford to go back to school and continue housing and feeding myself at the same time. My sister and I live in a single bedroom apartment infested with pests. I can't afford better. My sister has govt financial aid and even managed to get a part time job despite her disability; yet this only covers 53% of her living expenses. Next month, we will be $534.00 short
I consider killing myself. But I am all she has in this world and i couldnt leave her alone. Ì laugh at myself for having believed for so long that if I just keep working hard, I can have a dignified life where i am not constantly in fear of not having enough to eat or losing my home. The system is designed to keep us in crippling debt for life. I honestly don't know how I will be able to overcome the sickening dissonance deep within me.