Hi, I decided to delete my original post and make a shorter version of this same thing. It happened earlier this year but is still affecting me mentally – and not in a good way. Just to clarify: I live in Europe. Luckily, I still have another job in a museum I really love.
I used to work for a well-known research institute. My job was to look for appropriate respondents for the research, to contact them, and to interview them. I was doing this in my free time, as you only get paid after the interview is done and a report is written about it. The training only taught us how to write the reports, so I had to ask my superiors how to make the first contact and stuff like that. They were rather reluctant to help me. They also didn't want to give me the official e-mail address (despite telling me not to use my personal one), so I basically had no proof of working for this institute. I wasn't the only one struggling with this – my friend who was hired at the same had no idea how to even start, and I had to give him some advice.
I was contacting my respondents via e-mail and most of them were happy to agree. I used the roughly same text to contact each one of them and to explain the process to them. A few didn't really like the institute (even though they didn't mind me nor the interview itself) but they eventually agreed. My superiors offered to help me with those few who openly refused. Only one person reacted by insulted me. I was later blamed for this.
I also helped at the institute's exhibition, doing more shifts than anyone else. I got paid for this, but they managed to find a way how to pay me less money than they were supposed to do. After arguing about this with my superior over two weeks, all hell broke loose.
They fired me. I received several unpleasant e-mails by my superiors, telling me that I'm “no longer welcome” at the institute. I was accused of being a rude a vulgar person. Apparently all my coworkers hated me and all my respondents kept complaining and reporting me. They quoted words I'd never used. They said I ask for help all the time, that there is no need for a training, and that I ask them to do my job (it was them who offered to help with some reluctant respondents though). They said nobody has ever had been such a terrible employee like I am and that nobody has ever been so much rude or had any problems with the respondents. I had proof that none of this is true. I even showed them the polite and friendly e-mail conversations I had with my respondents. We were about to do the interviews. My superiors told me that I was making a scene. For defending myself. They continue dogpilling on me so I stopped responding.
I almost killed myself after that. I still sometimes wish I actually did so. This is a well respected institute. People barely believe me when I tell them. I already have a very serious mental health disorder and this basically killed my entire progress. I only survived because I took calming pills and because my parents urged me to come home for a few days. A few very numb, horrible days.
I explained things to my respondents and said our goodbyes in a friendly way like usual. I hinted that the institute behaved terribly towards me, in an attempt to make them not trust it. They are going to be contacted by it because I didn't have time to delete their contact info from the database after being fired. Someone else is going to take over and make money of this. I guess screw all those hours I was looking for appropriate respondents and searching for any contact info I can find (which I already found kinda weird, but my superiors claimed it's okay and nobody ever minds being contacted by strangers like this – which wasn't true). Nobody paid me for that. Nobody cared. They said I did zero work, despite me writing down all my activity on their employees website (as we were supposed to do).
I still struggle because of this. Sometimes I can't sleep at nights, seeing those e-mails in front of me and knowing that I wasn't rude to anyone. I get an anxiety attack every time I see something related to that institute. I'm scared of them ruining my future career in this field. I still have my other job at the museum and I love it so much. I communicate a lot with the visitors in there. They are lovely and appreciate when I help them or explain something to them. However, the seeds of doubt are already in there and I often feel like everybody secretly hates me. I often overly control myself and am scared to ask my superior or coworkers for anything, even though they are lovely people.
Screw my former job. They can go to hell for ruining my mental health. And I hate that I can't do anything about it. I can't risk having my name publicly smeared in this field. Who are people going to believe? Not freaking me, you can bet that.
Btw, it honestly pleases me to find out that the institute couldn't find anyone for their exhibition (because I used to cover most shifts), so my former superior has to work in there. Good. Have fun in that not well heated room.
End of the rant. Thank you for reading. I needed this.