I have always worked including after my toddler was born 2 years ago, but because of Covid I wound up doing full time work from home + childcare with no help for 2 years until layoffs got me. During this time I also took care of household duties (split with husband) and then also some weird trad stuff that should theoretically be valuable like cutting my husbands hair, sewing the family clothes, making our bread, etc. also, I have never once said no to sex with my husband so if we’re going to be really pedantic about it, there has to be some monetary value on daily sex.
I’ve been out of work for 4 months and I genuinely don’t think I’ll find work again. My husband is understanding partially because in our early marriage he worked a job that literally paid him $0 and I was the only breadwinner. Financially we aren’t really in danger and I “could” be a stay at home mom but my husband doesn’t want me to. I feel so shitty about myself because I’m not “providing.” My self esteem is in the crapper (plus I’m currently having a miscarriage.) why isn’t it enough for me to be a wife and mom? I’m not a “drop the kid with the nanny and go to pilates” mom. Not that I’m “better” but financially speaking I’ve saved my husband tens of thousands if not more.
What’s wrong with our society that the most important job in the world- enriching my child- still means im “not contributing”?