No, your company is not special.
In fact, you’re my fourth interview today, and I’ve got 6 more the rest of this week, don’t flatter yourself.
Nothing about your dog-shit job makes me WANT to work there. There is absolutely NOTHING that separates you from any of your competitors, you’re all the same flavor of shit.
There is no sugar coated answer, I’m not going to plaster on a fake smile and pretend that I have any inclination to work for you.
I want to work for you because I like eating and sleeping somewhere other than a Walmart parking lot. Electricity and hot water are bonuses as well.
Those are literally my only reasons for applying to your job. I don’t care about your family culture, I don’t care about your benefits, I couldn’t give two shits about career advancement within your company since I’ll get better raises leaving in two to three years anyways.
But yet, if I answer “money.” To this question, I’m somehow the bad guy. You recruiters and hiring managers act like you do what you do because you enjoy it, we both know that’s a lie. You wake up and go to work for money, you interview candidates because of money, 99% of your day to day decisions involve money.
So stop making employees out to be the bad guy for wanting to work somewhere FOR FUCKING MONEY.
You guys seriously act like we should lick your fucking boots and put you on a goddamn pedestal. As if we’re going to walk into the interview room and say:
“Excuse me your highness, I’m so sorry to bother you, would a peasant be able to trouble you for a job? I’ve been hearing all these great things about your little cult and I’d love to join and work my life away for free, I’ll even wash your car and do your grocery shopping without asking if you hire me.”
STOP WITH THE PRETEND FUCKING BULLSHIT. Get that fucking smug ass holier-than-thou grin off your face, and present me with a fair and equitable offer for my time.
Until you do that, no I’m not taking your fucking aptitude test, or filling out your 12 page application, or sitting in front of you for an hour while I kiss your ass for a job.
Kiss my dirt star, do better.