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Antiwork

“If you can eat with one hand, you can work with the other”

This happened last year when I got a new job as a process engineer. In my line of work, companies are struggling to find qualified labour and I'm more than qualified for this job. After coming across r/antiwork, I thought I'd jump on the trend of shitting on the people above me. And boy did I have someone perfect for shitting on. I was hired by a nice manager, who I report to. But his boss was a whole different story. He would micromanage, walk into my office without knocking – not to ask me how I'm going or what needs doing – but to check to see I was doing actual work. Then he'd walk out after some superficial discussion about how the operators are too lazy or that Vietnam trip he wants to go on. He did this only to me and nobody else – my guess is…


This happened last year when I got a new job as a process engineer. In my line of work, companies are struggling to find qualified labour and I'm more than qualified for this job.

After coming across r/antiwork, I thought I'd jump on the trend of shitting on the people above me. And boy did I have someone perfect for shitting on.

I was hired by a nice manager, who I report to. But his boss was a whole different story. He would micromanage, walk into my office without knocking – not to ask me how I'm going or what needs doing – but to check to see I was doing actual work. Then he'd walk out after some superficial discussion about how the operators are too lazy or that Vietnam trip he wants to go on. He did this only to me and nobody else – my guess is because I asked for a decently higher wage and got it because I'm more than qualified.

I took on a lot of work at the start because my manager told me they lost a lot of labour and graduates weren't applying to the job listing's as much as they hoped.

During this time, I valued my breaks because I was a little overworked. So I took 30-45 minute breaks (sometimes 1 hour) in the middle of my shift where I put on headphones and watched videos or listened to music to clear my head – on a side note, has anyone noticed how cathartic Deftones is?

Anyway, while listening to music, I would eat fruit/muesli bars and sometimes even a nice rice dish – foods that you could eat with one hand.

Well, my manager came into my office (without knocking) only to find me eating and watching YouTube – which he did NOT appreciate, even while on break.

I shit you not he said “if you could eat with one hand, you can work with the other.”

I didn't reply, I kind of just smiled and thought about what he said. And it bugged me a lot that he thinks he gets a say on what I do on my own break.

Que the malicious compliance:

That night I went to the grocery and bought the biggest burger buns I could find, twice as many veggie patties (I know, lame, but I appreciate good health) as I usually buy, more cheese than usual.

My plan was to make the biggest, double stacker burgers I possibly could – double cheese, dripping with onion and beetroot juice, covered in Chipotle sauce. So big that you had to use TWO HANDS to eat it.

You can see where this is going.

The next day, unsurprisingly, he shows up at my office to find me watching YouTube again, eating my massive burger as slowly as possible. Sesame seeds were falling on my lap – and I made sure to reply to him with my mouth full of burger chunks.

I'll never forget the expression on his face when he walked in on me, not doing what I was told. Think of the surprised pikachu face.

I said “can't work, eating” with my mouth full of burger – but I couldn't contain my laughter and I just spat out my burger into my foil wrapper – embarrassing but who cares.

He no longer cares what I do during my lunch break, and I've gone back to eating my normal food because making those burgers was a waste of time and money.

I have since been promoted to a higher position because my salary wasn't justified for what I was doing – and they took me on somewhere else.

This manager left the company a few months ago.

TL:DR

“if you can eat with one hand, you can work with the other”. So I made huge double stacker burgers and continued to watch YouTube on my breaks.

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