Ever heard that line of thought when it comes to confiding in someone about workplace harassment?
Or: “I don’t take those things personally so neither should you”.
That phrase undermines people’s experiences and I feel like it’s become so common.
I went to one of those meetings where an external consultant to the workplace gathers employee experiences and reports back to management on their findings.
However I feel like the meeting I volunteered to go to was NOT a safe space and quite judgemental.
I shared an experience I had of ageism comments from a colleague and another participant I don’t even know said not to take it personally because they don’t take things personally.
The things is, I have had MUCH worse experiences of harassment due to ageism than I shared. To hear someone undermining my experience was hurtful and I noticed this trend
where some employees try so hard to overlook bad behaviours from other employees (harassment, etc) and worst yet, expect others to do so too.
Has it occurred to them that my experience is nothing like theirs?
Oftentimes it’s the people who don’t have it bad to say this because when they give an example of their experience of harassment, it’s absolutely very different than mine.
It’s like it’s frowned upon to not be the “bigger person” and move on from harassment. I believe if you do that, good for you, but don’t impose it on others when you don’t know what happened.
These consultant meetings feel bogus but going to a group meeting where I’m judged feels even more annoying.
I have to get better at clapping back in a calm way. Until then, here I am venting.