Seriously, it’s all I can do to not treat every man I see with open, loud contempt to varying degrees. I just try not to engage.
Boomers and Christian fascists are bad enough, but even just the millennial white ones going about their day to day lives, all I can think is, “ This dude probably put more effort into the Dark Souls series than he ever did making sure Trump didn’t get elected. I bet if it came down to my civil rights or a PS5, he’d take the PS5 every time.” Then again we’re talking about a generation of dudes who used to whine about Anita Sarkeesian raising money for a mediocre web series, and who have been wildly uninterested in anything political that doesn’t immediately affect them, because South Park told them from an early age that caring was for dumbfucks. I don’t even want to look them in the eyes unless I have some sort of proof they’re an ally and they have been for years, and not just when things got real.
I don’t think all of these men, especially white men, who have suddenly discovered abortion and birth control effect men too, not are they real Leftist allies. I don’t think the average straight white male in America really cares about women’s rights or supporting people of color, or improving labor in this country, no matter how much he wants to. They just don’t want to pay child support, and that’s why their eyes glaze over the minute someone talks about the social safety net or child care credits. These guys will swear up and down that they’re good “liberals” who want to see a minimum wage increase, and then they’ll go right back to their friends and talk out their asses about what they think about trans women in sports, spouting rightist talking points the entire time.
Realistically I know we need them on our side if we have any hope of saving ourselves, and not all white straight guys are running around trying to oppress as many women as possible and turn us into baby factories. But my trust in American men is broken, and I just really don’t like to even think of what Christian American men are capable of, and I’m so disappointed and contemptuous of them and their values. And it’ll take a while for me to go back to feeling safe around any of them again… if I ever do.
So if you work with or serve American men right now, you have all of my respect and empathy. I know capitalism is making you do it, but even so, you deserve better than having to smile and nod at what very well is your oppressor right now, and I’m sorry we’re here.