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Antiwork

I’m at a loss.

So I get this is a bit different from the usual posts here, maybe it isn't and I haven't noticed. This is a bit of a rant but also just me looking for help. I was never someone who really enjoyed working until I got into graphic design, after a tough two final years I became really driven and wanted to do well, I wanted to provide for my girlfriend and myself. I've never wanted much, I've never wanted a lot of fancy stuff, just a place of my own, enough money to pay my bills, practice my hobby's and go on a vacation twice a year. I have studied graphic design at the intermediate vocational level and have a good portfolio. However after losing my job at the start of 2020 I was never able to get a new one as a designer. No matter what I do, I…


So I get this is a bit different from the usual posts here, maybe it isn't and I haven't noticed. This is a bit of a rant but also just me looking for help.

I was never someone who really enjoyed working until I got into graphic design, after a tough two final years I became really driven and wanted to do well, I wanted to provide for my girlfriend and myself. I've never wanted much, I've never wanted a lot of fancy stuff, just a place of my own, enough money to pay my bills, practice my hobby's and go on a vacation twice a year.

I have studied graphic design at the intermediate vocational level and have a good portfolio. However after losing my job at the start of 2020 I was never able to get a new one as a designer.

No matter what I do, I tried getting into companies through referrals or just by applying and dressing up well, showing interest and generally being what the market refers to as “professional”.

I really have no interest in pursuing a different career path, I constantly get rejected by companies, most of them tell me it's because I didn't go to university, when I do happen to get an offer on the table I get offered a wage that won't even let me break even at the end of the month.

I really do want to work, I've put a great deal of energy into my school, portfolio and always did my best back when I still worked as a graphic designer, I've tried hard to get a job in that field but for some reason I can't and now I am exhausted, I feel burned out and the prospect of work makes me bummed out in the worst of ways.

The job market turned graphic design which used to be a job which was suited for people of my education level in a university level job with pay that doesn't add up.

Life feels like hell, I am not sure how to proceed. I've worked shitty jobs that are unrelated to graphic design that do not interest me in the slightest just to keep making money.

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