I currently work at a summer camp for kids with disabilities and the only job I had before this was at a fast food restaurant.
Today, I was heading to the nurse because it was like 90 degrees humidity and I was in the heat all day. Needless to say I was not feeling well. Then I get pulled into one of the cabins before I’m able to get to the nurse, where I’m being lectured for the mistakes I’ve made, and most of the stuff I was already told last week and I tried my hardest to change that already. The stuff they lectured me about was mainly that I’m apparently not doing enough and that I don’t handle being upset properly.
They stayed focused on this one time we were supposed to do an activity on the nature trail in the woods, but my camper didn’t want to go because she had pretty bad allergies, and I expressed happiness to stay with her because I didn’t want to get mosquito bites. Apparently that’s a big deal since apparently I’m not “involved enough”. Btw I have horrible allergies to mosquito bites, but I don’t think they even believe me. They won’t seem to let that go. That’s just one example.
They did the whole “we’re just trying to help you. What can we do to help we’re on the same side” speal, but I didn’t feel the support they claimed to have. I mentioned my health problems particularly in the heat and they said that was a separate issue. Like really? No it’s not! And I stood my ground and said that and that’s what it took to get them to pretend to care. They acted nice and empathetic but they really aren’t.
If these are supposed to be “nice employers”, then I’m fucked. If the directors at a camp for disabilities are treating me this way because of my lack of performance due to my health, then no one is going to treat me right. Outside of the work world, people are so much kinder and empathetic to my problems. But in the work world it’s just seen as a burden, even in a place where I’m helping people who also have health problems. Bosses are basically dictators in a job and I can’t handle it. I’m starting college in the fall to become a teacher but I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle the extremely high and unreasonable expectations that higher ups place on teachers. And I can’t think of another job where I can get the empathy and accommodations I need from higher ups. The fast food job also sucked for that reason. I really hate being told I’m basically not good enough even why I try my best. It’s really depressing and it’s starting to make my depression come back.