i (m17) have had several jobs since the age of 14, all in the fast food industry. at first, it was relatively fun and easy, and being paid even minimum wage was exciting, because i finally had my own money.
but ever since then, the charm has slowly worn off. i’ve become increasingly disillusioned with the idea of work, and even with basic concepts like money. my brain just doesn’t understand why inequality is something that humans seem to propagate, regardless of the circumstances.
as a child, my family was in the lower middle class, and we lived comfortably. i spent my days at school and then came home and played outside or on the Wii or PS3. but when i was nearing adolescence, our fortune took a turn for the worse.
due to circumstances that i don’t wish to explain, we became homeless. with no father to speak of and a mother with no job (until about two months ago), my family was thrown into the underclass, sleeping in cars and other people’s couches.
we eventually managed to claw our way to the working class, primarily through what little government aid we received. so at the age of 14, i took on my first job at Subway. as previously mentioned, it was initially exciting. i got money for slapping sandwiches together.
but by the time i started my second job at a local bakery, the rose-colored glasses were sliding off. work was increasingly becoming a chore, not the fun source of income it used to be. and as i got older, my financial responsibilities increased. suddenly, my mom was asking for grocery money when we were in a pinch, and i had to start paying for gas and car insurance.
fast forward to the present day, where i currently work at a pizza place for $9.50 an hour. with every shift, i enjoy my job less and less, and i fear that this will continue for my entire life.
what exactly is the point of living if you spend the bulk of it working your ass off in a job you probably won’t like just to be able to eat and have a place to live, while the CEO of whoever you work for gets to live without worry, taking everything for granted?
i feel like there are some jobs that i’d enjoy, but due to the nature of my situation, it’s unlikely that i’ll ever make it there.
3-4 days a week, i come home at 11 and just collapse into bed. with school and work combined, i have essentially no social life or free time, which is like giving my already-present depression steroids.
there are times when i'm okay, but i'm struggling to see if my life will actually have any sort of value, or if ill just be another corporate shill to extract wealth from.
why do we need money to have food or water or a place to live, why are we forced to work just ti remain alive?
i’d say that i’m tired of it all, but that word doesn’t even begin to describe how i feel.
i don’t know.
i just wish things were better.