I've been working at a call center for a credit card processing company for a month and I have never wanted to leave a job as much as I do now. The benefits are good, the pay is fair, and the work environment is overall nicer than other jobs I've had. However, the work itself could be considered torture. And I feel like I spend all of my time at this place now. There is not a single day where I don't get a rude caller. I have to waste away in front of this computer every Monday-Friday for 9 hours a day. It doesn't help when I'm stuck on a long call that requires me to stay after hours to complete the call! It doesn't help that I am an introvert and absolutely cannot stand interacting with humans for extended periods of time. This workplace promotes the idea of “we want you to have a life outside of work” but I don't feel like it's possible. I wake up about 1 hour before I have to leave, I work for 9 hours, I go home, the time at the end of the day goes by so fast that I can't keep up with it, then I go to bed, and repeat. The weekends go by so fast that I feel that there is no time to relax. I feel there is no time to get things in my personal life done. I have always liked making art and making music and thought I'd like to do stuff like that as a living since it's actually something I enjoy doing, but I don't have time to work on any of that stuff now. I just need the money from this job to literally survive right now but it is taking away every last bit of energy I have. I'm afraid I'm never going to return to the hobbies and other things in my life that matter to me.
I'm really afraid of opening up about how I really feel about this job to my family. They actually told me that I probably wasn't going to like this job, but I was stupidly optimistic. Plus I've already hopped between so many jobs at this point. Now if I tell them about how I really about the job, I know it's not going to be met with any sympathy, just the whole “I told you so.”
Before this job I have mostly worked in retail. I know it might sound crazy, and it might be just because I got used to the environment, but I think I'm actually kind of starting to miss retail. But I don't want to leave this job to go back to retail and then remember why I left it in the first place. And despite the things my family told me, they were really proud of me when I got this job. It feels like such a waste now. I have tried to work in so many different types of environments other than retail and none of them have worked for me. I'm tired of wasting my life away just to get a sack of cash every 2 weeks. If I'm going to work, I actually want to at least do something that's worthwhile. It makes me wish I would have left my essential job during the pandemic to take some time off and work on my art and music more.