I am a paraeducator, an aide in a special needs class (for those unfamiliar), and I am so passionate about my job. But the way this district treats its special ed programs is so awful. Between the burnout from understaffing (in what is supposed to be a very low ratio class) and the fact that I'm still living paycheck to paycheck I can feel my mental health circling the drain. Like I'm standing at the edge of the cliff and I can see the abyss and the ground is cracking beneath me.
I was hired on for just under the number of hours needed where I would qualify for health insurance, and the amount I'm making per hour is laughable. At my 6th month performance review I got told that, “This isn't the kind of job where you can just take sick days” and it just reinforced that this isn't the right place for me. I could get more hours for about the same pay at the movie theater around the corner, or half the fast food places out here.
I've been actively working on updating my resume so I can try to apply for some work from home positions, but the thought of leaving my coworkers high and dry and “abandoning” my students makes me feel sick to my stomach with guilt. On the other hand sticking things out until the end of the school year fills me with dread. I feel like no matter what I choose its gonna fucking hurt.