Okay so I’m turning 26 soon and I woke up this beautiful Monday morning so fucking irritated that I’m waking up early just to sign on to my stupid computer and move the mouse around for 8 hours. I’m exhausted and sad and clueless as to wtf led generations of people to comply with the stupidest shit I’ve ever seen. It’s not even efficient. I can get the “work” done in an hour, but I have to waste all this sunshine just sitting here to collect enough money to barely survive. Idk I just feel like everyone who tells me to “just be happy” hasn’t been happy a day in their entire life. Idk what I’m expecting here. I know I’ve gotta make the life I want but it feels so fucking debilitating to sit here and be talked at by literal idiots who think our completely inessential labor is saving lives or something. I know that I will build a life for myself I enjoy. It’s just that at the moment I feel so burnt out mentally and emotionally that I have a hard time finding the energy to work on developing the skills and networks with people I enjoy. In summary, I’m mad, apparently my thoughts are wildly disorganized, I feel fucking lost and this 40 hr work wk takes such a toll on me that it’s hard to enjoy and nourish the parts of my life that I love.