I have 6 supervisors. 2 are store managers (So can do things) and 4 are supervisors (So can't really do anything).
Due to a combination of factors, on february 25th, I've suffered a massive anxiety attack 7 hours into a 10 hour shift and noped out (professional freakout. Hid it from customers, properly cashed out, left as procedure-correctly as I could).
Boss boy heard and wanted “A chat” since the next shift, 2 days later (A week tomorrow) 2-3 times now, I was told it'd be today and later. Then I was told, can't because [reasonexcuse].
I actually half-pushed this topic when he had to cash me up, and he seems to have misunderstood what “flexible” means when I applied. I think he thought he could just toss me a lot of hours at his leisure – which to his credit he only did during a tough work week, one week – but when I brought it up to him that I did not enter a 20 hour contract to work FORTY SIX (!!!) hours (Standard rate overtime pay in next month's paycheck, lunch breaks are unpaid so they got a lot of free time out of me with that), he seemed to insinuate that I lied in my interview by saying “Well you said you are flexible”.
I told him yeah – which means I can fill in any point for missing employees or work any part of the day. I can't, however, do TEN HOUR SHIFTS that end hours after my stimulant medication wears off. People naturally tire in the day – now imagine 9,5 hours (Half hour break) of intense focus, for a person with ADHD – and imagine those uppers crash you 5 hours into the shift. What's that like? I start feeling like it's hours later – exhausted, cranky, slow, everything is difficult. I *can* do ten hour shifts if they start me early enough that the medicine crash doesn't get to kick in. (7-17 shift was fine)
So at that time, his reply was “Okay, well, we have to talk about your hours, because they aren't really working right now”. Like, excuse me, why was it fine for weeks prior, but when I'm overworked because*you* misunderstood a thing, while basically not appreciated but pretty constantly harassed for being slow at the closing shift bullshit ( https://controlc.com/611a5cbf ) – I was *always* on time, I *always*did my work as best as I could. I didn't hide in a corner to scratch my ass and waste minutes with it. The worst thing I do is come off breaks 1-3 minutes late because all the damn clocks are wrong *with each other*, including the central time, till time, break room clock, *especially* the CCTV clock (Which is SEVEN MINUTES wrong).
Anyway.
The question part.
He's been avoiding this “Chat” for a while, but I think I caught them mentioning or having an interview yesterday. On the one hand, we don't have enough people (surprise!) so it could be that. Or it could be not wanting to risk me leaving before they have my replacement.
I'm fine with leaving if I'm given more shit, I'll be *mad* if I'm let go after a backstab like replacing me silently (and will write a *massively detailed*essay on problems with the store), and I'm happy to stay on as I do enjoy 95 % of the work, but that 5% I *despise*.
Bonus points : I told warned my boss that I'm more of a morning person weeks ago. I let him know about my meds and what they do *weeks* ago (he has altered the rotas several times but kept almost all of my late closing shifts regardless, removing only *one*, ever, that I can count on.)
Soft deadline : March 8, I have a 12:30 to 22:30 shift. Yup, ten hour shift, in the middle of which I'm going to crash, *and* be asked to run around from at least 8 PM and do asinine cleaning shit, on my own, while customers drag me back to the till (Or I miss them waiting because I will be out of audiovisual range) .
Disclaimer : I love, love, LOVE working with customers. I'm primarily a cashier, by far the fastest and most polite of anyone in the store. I get several comments to this effect each day, ranging from “I come to your till because you're so quick!” to “You've made my day, thank you” to “It's nice to see a cheerful person!”. I don't mind the idea of having to serve customers, I mind the idea of being told to do 2 conflicting things and being interrupted so my mind can't settle into either “mode” .
Explanation : ADHD, right? I medicate. My brain either has trouble focusing, or focuses on a *lot* of shit at once, often to where I can't control it. This is why I have insomnia, and it's almost singularly this reason. My brain won't stfu as I'm trying to sleep, so on a good night, I take 30 mins to fall asleep. Average is 60~, but often longer :-. My particular strength lies after getting past learning slow, then I mentally settle into a moodgroove, at which point I vastly outperform other people in most tasks as my brain is constantly trying to optimize and learn how things could go better. (Not to talk myself up, I swear.) These modes are pretty strong, often monopolizing my focus, so I miss smaller cues (Like opening another till because the line got a bit long) – but the main issue is that interrupting deep focus “mode” stuff is *very bad* for me, spawning anxiety. I can not control this, no matter what – I can't.
The best I can do is attempt to ignore it, deal with it, but if it happens too often, it bubbles up and will overflow at some point. I never take my crankiness out on customers, but once the seed is there to crank, it will remain and worsen, too – which generally means I'll just be freaking out silently.
All because I “have” to do cleaning. Because the cleaning is done alone, with no help, because the company is cheapskate and can't hire cleaners or assign *one* employee *one* hour a day to help.
I have asked repeatedly *not* to be given ten hour shifts, *not* to be put into closing shifts as I find them extremely distressing. “Everyone does it”, “part of the job” and other unhelpful Boss platitudes. I'm not everyone, this is a serious weakness. I bring enough to the table that this should be negotiable – I have proven that I can fill in for people at the drop of a hat 3 times now (Covid got a supervisor, I took a bonus shift the next day, giving up an off day, stayed on 1h so a supervisor could go home to their kid's birthday party earlier, took 2 hours my last shift because they asked me to because ??? never given a reason for that one).
So they can either start valuing me or I can walk out. I don't think I'm asking for much or being unreasonable. If the cleaning was done in the half hour post-work they force you to take (And, to be fair, pay for), okay, sure. I signed on for that.
So. We'll see. I would be much more suited for a position that paid 2.5X what they're paying me now as a technical lead infrastructure manager. The customer loyalty app doesn't load, doesn't work, constantly boots people off and they don't remember their logins – services too slow to recover, CCTV issues up the ass, for the nearly 2 months I worked there, one till has just *not worked* and the one effort weeks ago to fix it ended up in failure, such things.
OH. WELL O_O. I'll keep this updated if enough interest exists.