I'm just venting because it's been a shit day. I work in retail. We were open all day today and are open from 6 am until 9 pm tomorrow. I'm already being forced to work on Christmas Eve, spend time away from my kid, the lady who runs my daughter's daycare out of her home is graciously taking her tomorrow (but I have to pay extra) and when I protested working on fucking Christmas Eve, I was threatened with a write up of insubordination from my district manager.
I am just…really tired. I got screamed at today by a customer because our store's website said we had a clothing item in stock, but we didn't have it in store. Did this customer call to double check? Didn't seem like it. I stayed polite, and courteous and explained that we didn't have it in stock on the sales floor. I apologized. Offered to order it from our website and have it shipped to our store for free and she just kept getting angrier and angrier and how it was so important that she got this fucking jacket and blah and blah. Eventually my store manager stepped in and gave her a coupon and it took everything I had not to break down on the sales floor over some random lady just losing her shit on me two days before Christmas.
I want to give my kid a better life. She deserves better. She isn't even two yet, so I'm not too worried about the whole Christmas aspect of everything. I just mean in general. I'd love to find a job where I didn't have to rely on SNAP/WIC to keep us fed but I'm also terrified of losing those benefits.
How bad is it that my “dream” job is sitting in a cubicle, working 9-5 every day? No more being called in at the last minute, no more being screamed at/abused my customers and having to take it because my store manager doesn't have my back and doesn't want to piss off our DM. I could have normal working hours, be with my kid more, actually afford to live. Like how sad is it that I wish to pay my rent, water and electric bill all at once? No juggling which bill to pay, no more incurring late fees. No more putting stuff on credit cards and maxing that out. It's sad that if I were to win 5 grand, it would totally change my life – I'd be able to pay my bills, pay off my credit card debt, maybe even treat myself for once instead of being treated like dirt on the bottom of other;s shoes because I work for shit wages.
I'm just in my feels today and it's been a tough one. I had to work straight through my lunch break and now I'm sitting here on an extended 15 and crying into this peanut butter sandwich I packed over how crappy today has been.