I wish I never had to work. Every job I've had has made me feel paralyzed and my suicidal ideations are a manifestation of feeling closed in, trapped, wanting to escape, but can't. I feel like no matter what I do, I'm always walking around with a ball and chain I can't get off me. My brain, like an itch, keeps telling me to jump out of a window, but I'm just too afraid. I'm too afraid to quit because then I won't have money or a place to live, but I hate working so much I stay stuck, just trying to get a moments relief to hide during work hours without my supervisor or coworkers constantly jerking me around.