I just need a place to vent and this seems like a fitting place to do so.
I, along with literally all 4 of my coworkers, are currently looking for new jobs. Our boss (who also happens to be a close relative of mine) is the biggest fucking buffoon on the planet. He has been mentally checked out of the retail store he owns for the last 3 years due to his drug habits and just general failure to take responsibility for his business and his employees who rely on his business to pay for a place to live, children, food, etc. Things really started to look grim about a month ago when we all were paid a week late because our boss literally didn't have enough money to pay us. We've all been job hunting since.
Job hunting feels like constantly auditioning and performing for a chance to be able to make enough money to just survive. Employers LOVE to complain about how nobody wants to work, but never get back to most of their applicants and then either pay far less than a living wage or don't list their pay on the job listing at all.
It's so fucking frustrating and dehumanizing. I just want to be able to keep paying my rent. I'm not enthusiastic about the opportunity to wear myself out mentally and/or physically at a stupid dead-end shit-wage job. It shouldn't be so hard to basically beg for a shitty opportunity.
To get into the more personal side of things, the job hunt makes me feel such a constant sense of existential dread. I've been working at this retail/sales job for the last 4.5 years. When I started working there full time, I was in school and my boss/close family member convinced 20-year-old me to drop out of school and work at the business full-time and told me I'd be making over 50k per year within a couple of years (That definitely never happened). So now I have an apartment and pets to take care of and I'm just downright scared for the future. All the jobs that pay enough for me to continue to be able to afford my rent are either sketchy sales jobs or factory jobs. The thought of doing either of those types of soul-sucking jobs long-term literally evokes borderline suicidal thoughts. I want to go back to school, but making enough time for that along with finding a job I won't hate that has enough flexibility for school feels almost hopeless. I'm just fucking scared.
For those of you who read this far, thanks for taking the time out of your day to just listen to me vent. I'm sure many of you can relate in one way or another.