Hey this is a throw away account just so i can rant into the void chamber.
So my life story is that I'm a child of divorced parents, both pretty well of, but one of them moved to USA and become quite successful. Fast forward to adulthood and i flunked uni, asked for a job, got it and later moved with a green card. I was hired as an IT person, because i was good simple computer tasks and felt that it intrigued me. However, the “pleasure” of work never came and i started to hate the life of an adult that came to USA to live in the basement of his father (back in Europe, i was lucky enough to be gifted a one room flat, that i could live alone with my girlfriend).
Work in my dads company continued and i “climbed” the ranks towards IT Manager (more like just got the job, because the people above me left). Internally life sucked, since i was always labeled (and i think its probably true) a lazy person. I found some drive and decided to go to uni for a tech degree back in Europe (wanted to leave USA). during these years, i worked only 4~ months a year, which would be enough to make live paycheck to paycheck. (for my country, the 2.5k a month i got was was really good). However due to this (and my laziness) i didn't do any internships or worked anywhere else.
Now I'm 29 and finished my degree almost a year ago. Got my pay bumped to 4k~ a month and still feel unmotivated to do anything. Part of the problem of the whole situation is the unmanageable projects that we have. Most of it is legacy code that will brake if anyone touches it, we only hire specialist from cheaper countries and we lack specialized specialist. Everytime i tried changing things up, it wouldn't stick or broke more stuff than it fixed.
I tried looking for other jobs, but im in a position, where i dont feel like i have any experience (especially as a developer which i would like to be) and at the same time im hoping for atleast not a lower paycheck. I would love a remote job, where i dont work much. These days i just sit on reddit most of my time at work.
Heck, im not even sure if I should be posting here. Im pretty well off compared to most of the posts. And im probably one of the guys that would get hate on here. I just feel like this capitalist culture is just suffocating me.