Background: I started my job at $19.70. Journeyman make $24.70. We all get an extra $4 hazard pay on top of our pay rates.
This year in April my district manager tells me that he’ll make sure I get journeyman pay in June when I graduate and pass my licensing exam. Earlier he got my pay corrected (I was wrongfully hired at $17) so I trust him on this. However, in May I start making $24.70. I assume that was my district manager making the adjustment early. So for 4 months I’m making $28.70 overall. I’m super happy to be done with 2 years of school and on the job training. My old apartment lease ends in June and I sign a new lease. I was sharing a one bedroom with my mom but now that I was financially independent I got my own studio. 33 years old and I’m finally living on my own for the first time.
Now it’s August, my employer tells me that my pay rate was a mistake and they reduced me to $19.70. We had new contract effective May 08, and someone in HR accidentally put me on the journey scale. They’re also saying my district manager is wrong for telling me he could put me on journey. So now I’m SOL. We also have hazard pay ending at the end of the month. Meaning I’m losing $9 per hour. Plus the new contract raises only apply to journeyman rates. While everyone gets an extra $2 ($26.70) I’m stuck at $19.70 with a $1719 lease.
I now can’t afford my housing. I’m going to the food bank. Going to cut my internet. I have to keep my phone bill because I can’t afford to pay the balance on my phone if I end the contract. I’m contemplating asking my leasing office if I can break my lease. That or get a part time job. I have depression. 170 days sober after 16 years of heavy drinking. I have a fear or rejection. Major imposter syndrome. Dropped out of college, was a stem EE major. I just want to die. I used to love clocking in. Cutting meat. Sharing my knowledge with customers. Working fast. Getting everything done.
Now I fucking hate work and myself. I just feel like a fucking loser who doesn’t deserve anything.