Only job I've ever liked so I put up with the red flags from the get go. So really I brought it upon myself but I'm still annoyed as it is actually a distant relative who runs the business.
I left a permanent job to go there because my panic attacks were being brought on by members of staff making my life a joke. Plus I had an hour commute each way all for a job that was making me clean the floors on my hands and knees, laughing at me and taking videos of me etc. As someone with social anxiety that was a huge blow to me as a person, hard to describe to anyone who doesn't have it but I can't even be seen in a photo as I throw up when I see myself on a camera.
But anyway I left my job to go to this guy, supposed to be a good guy according to all the family so I thought what the heck. Just try it. Did my first week and loved it. However even after I'd left my other job, he would scoot around the topic of pay. But because I was desperate I ignored the red flags. Had this been anyone else I wouldn't have agreed to a job without an agreement on wages. After a while and about 4 times of asking I finally get a half cut answer of X amount per DAY. This was about 20% less than I was getting in my old job but I was told we wouldn't be working 9-10 hours per day so it would work out.
First month this was true but then came 12 hour days. By the time you factor a 12 hour day in my hourly rate was lower then apprentice pay. Even worse was I kept chasing this guy over tax and pay, told me to go self employed which I did. But still insisted on giving me cash on the side which never felt right. Something felt off but because of my illness I felt trapped. Even more annoying was he said if we work harder then we'll get more money so I asked at what point do we get more as my output is good and I've learned a lot since I started. This ended up in a pretty harsh conversation how “money isn't everything” yet he'd been bragging that the company pulled in 7k profit last week lol
I realised this guy had no intention of ever putting me on PAYE or me being self employed and paying taxes legitimately. But I registered self employed and he went to see his accountant. This is when I was told everything was getting sorted and he can backdate it so everything is correct in terms of the tax year as I'm self employed under his company. But this is when I asked about my wages and if I'm doing 12 hours per day with tax and NI deductions coming out then I'll need minimum wage considering my dedication. This got pretty nasty and I was told if I don't like it to get a different job. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. After all the false promises of better pay being dangled Infront of me this felt like a real kicker.
Now I'm unemployed because I refuse to work either illegally or legal but less than minimum wage (self employed seems to be the scapegoat)
Anxiety makes interviews hard, even harder if you get a job and have to go through the trauma of first day plus getting to know the job/people. Honestly it's enough to make me wanna quit work for good. Last 2 years I've been trying to work and if it's not the people making life a misery then it's unfair pay and if it's not that it's being called when you're in hospital asking when you'll be back to work. Surely working life can't be this bad for everyone right?
I guess I've got more time to focus on my treatment and therapy but I'll have to start selling my assets to fund my time off. All makes me reconsider why I've worked hard when it's amounted to nothing in the end anyway.
Fuck work lol