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Antiwork

Lost, tired, wanna quit but don’t know where to go

Hello there. 25(F) year old tutor here. I have been tutoring someone online for their AP exam for the past 4-5 months. I am not from the US but I manage. Throughout my life, I studied things I didn't know if I wanted to study and now I am trying to use that education to teach someone. But honestly, there is something else I am passionate about (Medical Coding) but unfortunately, that's something I realised recently and I am not even sure if I can call it passion when I have not been doing any research about it lately. When I first discovered it, I joined some classes to learn but for the past 3 months, I have not been doing anything at all. It looks like a promising field but sometimes I feel like I might regret my choice of going for it. 80$ a month is my salary…


Hello there. 25(F) year old tutor here. I have been tutoring someone online for their AP exam for the past 4-5 months. I am not from the US but I manage.

Throughout my life, I studied things I didn't know if I wanted to study and now I am trying to use that education to teach someone.

But honestly, there is something else I am passionate about (Medical Coding) but unfortunately, that's something I realised recently and I am not even sure if I can call it passion when I have not been doing any research about it lately. When I first discovered it, I joined some classes to learn but for the past 3 months, I have not been doing anything at all.
It looks like a promising field but sometimes I feel like I might regret my choice of going for it.

80$ a month is my salary and the parents can't even increase it. 80$ is nothing, considering the amount of work i have to put in to teach 4 days a week.

Do i have it harder than other people? Absolutely not.

But i don't know where to go.

My anxiety issues get really bad when I think about working in a school or something. So, I tried to work from home, on my own terms.

But even that feels like i am just scraping by for nothing. At times I hit such horrible slumps that I did not feel like tutoring at all. So i took days off as well.

I have no practical skills. And the skills that I do have (singing for example) are not good career choices.

Heck, I did not even want to work. I wanted to just focus on living life a bit peaceful but I have to work for that peace first and it's exhausting.

Am i shamelessly complaining? Yes I am.

My back hurts, my neck hurts, and I am feeling this overflow of emotions that I did not feel before. And this like my second job or something.

Sometimes….I just feel like giving up but that sounds like a dumb choice. I don't know anymore.

If there was a way to maybe, work but also not feel so lost and unhappy, so stuck, then i would love to know that. I don't feel like teaching like this. I wanna quit but where do I even go from there? I have no idea….

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